Persian here. It's one of the most annoying and arguably toxic aspects of our culture. I understand it; I understand the perceived need for it, but I submit th

Persian here. It's one of the most annoying and arguably toxic aspects of our culture. I understand it; I understand the perceived need for it, but I submit that it paradoxically does the exact opposite of what it intends to accomplish ("social equality") because it directly diminishes the value of whoever ultimately "loses" the exchange, oftentimes whoever perceives a greater debt to the other person, which is generally the person of lesser social rank. "Taarof represents the kind essence of Iranian people. In our culture, it can be impolite to express ourselves in very a direct and objective way,” but it in fact demonstrates a kind of disrespect for both the other person's time and validity, and I'd argue that by enforcing systemic dishonesty, it's one of the main culprits of another far darker aspect of Persian culture: Backbiting. https://iranian.com/1998/10/13/people-of-extremes/ https://iranian.com/1998/10/13/people-of-extremes/ --- Do not emulate this. Do not let this aspect of our culture become a part of yours. If you seek to be kind, do so by being kind, not by being nice.