> I spent most of my life suicidal. same here. things only turned around once I started embracing it and no longer guilt trip myself about whether it would be

> I spent most of my life suicidal. same here. things only turned around once I started embracing it and no longer guilt trip myself about whether it would be damaging to my surrounding. since telling myself I can always get it over with "tomorrow" but "let's see what the rest of the day brings", I am actually doing really well. I also tell myself it's not just OK to end it but it's one day my duty to do it "on my terms" (if it is in my control to make that choice ofc). it sounds morbid because it is. but only facing my reality like an alcoholic faces that they'll be an addict for life, regardless if they don't drink for 20 years - is why not only am I still here but am able to life an incredibly full life. If I weren't suicidal then _I know_ that it would make me more ignorant to the suffering of others. I'd rather be dead than go through life like that. life without death is meaningless and we should cherish it the same way as we celebrate being born. edit: The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker, perfectly articulates how messed up our relationship with death/disease/dying has become in modern society.