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A toxic relationship that Gust tolerated for 18 months, which turned him toxic too. Fine, so he was just treading water till his own bonuses cleared, but that w
by hhas01 6y ago
A toxic relationship that Gust tolerated for 18 months, which turned him toxic too. Fine, so he was just treading water till his own bonuses cleared, but that was his choice.
He was contracted and paid to do a certain job, and ended up doing a different, harder job which presumably wasn’t in his contract and for which he wasn’t being paid. That was his choice. I know, geeks are bad at saying “no”, but work-to-rule is a thing for a reason, and you don’t have to be a douche about it; unfailingly, excruciatingly polite is its own weapon too.
And then Gust turned various independent OSS projects toxic as well, even though his fight was not theirs. And the people they’re chucking abusing at now are not the abusive management who used Gust as their personal doormat, but ordinary employees down in the trenches just trying to do their own jobs.
I’m not sure where you’re getting the “subjected to further abuse after his resignation” from; there’s nothing in the article about that.
Nobody comes out of this one looking good, except for OP, who is just trying to do his job as best he can. His post is tagged “unprofessional-behavior” and he’s not wrong about that.
And Gust hasn’t done himself any favors either if/when that reputation follows him to future jobs. I get that he’s angry and burnt out and that’s leading him to make poor decisions—been there, done that—but like I say, if you don’t look after yourself you’re no good to anyone. I know I wouldn’t want to hire someone coming off the back of that shitshow lest they bring all their toxic baggage with them and infect my business too.
I understand Gust, cos there’s a bit of Gust in many of us, but he chose to take the abuse far longer than I would have before cutting my losses and getting out. And much of that abuse was ultimately self-inflicted because he chose to let himself be taken for a ride (because geeks love to be Helpful), instead of apologizing profusely that he was not qualified, competent, nor contracted to do work so far out of his job description. And sad to say the world is full of people (at all social and professional levels) who’ll be happy to take good-willed naive suckers for everything they’re worth (hell, just look at US politics!).
But the moment Gust turned abusive himself—boom, whatever sympathies I had for him as another fallible human being are done, and I’ve no interest in fellow geeks crafting a Robin Hood narrative just because it pleases them to do so.
- wtfiswiththis 6y agoThis comment is toxic. I get that you're angry and burnt out and that’s leading you to make poor decisions—been there, done that—but like I say, if you don’t look after yourself you’re no good to anyone. Whatever sympathies I had for you as another fallible human being are done.
- rualca 6y ago> A toxic relationship that Gust tolerated for 18 months, which turned him toxic too. Fine, so he was just treading water till his own bonuses cleared, but that was his choice. You're desperately trying to blame the victim for some reason. Your desperation is such that somehow you've tried to spin the victim getting paid for his work according to his contract as somehow a failing. > (...) That was his choice. Victim blaming aside, it's rather odd that you're trying to bash the victim for "choices" like doing his job and getting paid for his work and not being subjected to abuse. It sounds like somehow you believe people don't have the right to think for themselves, to not tolerate abuse and disrespect, and have their best-interests in mind. I'm done with your comment, frankly. I won't read any more of it. I don't believe anything of value can come out of this absurd line of reason that sounds like a sociopath bashing his victims for the inconvenience they created by stopping being abused. This is not a reasonable conversation that reasonable adults have, and for this reason I'm out.
- hhas01 6y agoYou think that’s abuse? Go and read stories of Domestic Violence, where the victims are too terrified to leave for the completely justified fear of being murdered. Gust chose to take management’s shit. He chose to take their shit for money. He chose to make himself a “victim”, when he could have walked out of that toxic environment at any time with no repercussion. Yeah, the management are excretable scum wholly deserving of strychnine in their guacamole, and let’s hope they all go to prison someday for dirty double-dealing, but the only power they had over Gust was whatever power Gust gave them. Now I’ve got sympathy for that, cos I know all about bad judgement born from loss of perspective, and the mistakes and damage we can do to ourselves from that. But then Gust chose to recruit his personal army for revenge, dragging others into his mess, and that is wrong. So, sorry, but sympathy seeking self-martyrdom is up there with the messianic martinetism and barely concealed resentments in the grand hall of nerd dysfunctions and follies. Maybe if y’all got a broader experience of real life and all its people you might develop a more balanced sense of perspective. Because if you cannot tell if you’re being abusive yourself—which is what Gust was by the time OP wrote about it—then you’re part of the problem as well. And I can speak from first-hand there as well. Gust wants to believe he’s the wronged party, and you want to believe that as well, because weaving that narrative suits you both. But the only truly wronged people I see here are OP and those OSS project developers, who Gust is now using and abusing just as his [belatedly] ex-management used and abused him; to serve himself. Rule #1 of being a good person: knowing when you’re being a bad person yourself.