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> I spent most of my life suicidal. I mostly no longer hurt these days and I mostly no longer feel suicidal. So my opinion is informed by personal experience.

by JadeNB 6y ago

> I spent most of my life suicidal. I mostly no longer hurt these days and I mostly no longer feel suicidal. So my opinion is informed by personal experience. Thank you for sharing this, and for your perspective. Were there any particular things people said or did that were helpful to you for reaching where you are now?

DoreenMichele 6y ago
I have two adult sons who nursed me back to health after doctors wrote me off for dead. Among other things, having been raised by me, they were really savvy about handling it when I was genuinely, seriously suicidal because I was so miserable. Two things that became policy: 1. "Do not engage Teh Crazeh" 2. Tend to mom's physical health when she's a nut job. The first means don't argue with me when I'm irrational. The fact that I'm irrational means nothing you say will do any good and it ends up magnifying the problem rather than helping. For the second point: At some point it became really clear that when I was seriously suicidal and acting really crazy, I was almost always physically at the end of my rope and just incapable of taking care of myself. It became my oldest son's policy to offer me food and drink and make sure I was warm enough (or sometimes cool enough, but usually warm enough because I have a long history of having trouble staying warm). And even if I was all "Don't change the subject, you disrespectful rat bastard!!!" he would just stick to trying to feed me, give me something to drink and get me warm. I almost always promptly fell asleep once I was fed, hydrated and warm enough and would wake up no longer crazed and wouldn't remember much of it. My kids were always given a pass on bad behavior when they were sick as kids. If they were feverish and being awful, I would send them to bed to get some sleep rather than punishing them. So that came back to me during my lengthy health crisis as them developing this policy of feed me, hydrate me, get me warm, and ignore the nonsense I was saying. A third policy was that I would let them know when I was just out there and couldn't be left alone and they would babysit me and make sure I was not left alone on days when I was like "Yeah, I'm not right and can't be trusted with my own welfare." That both made sure I didn't attempt suicide and addressed my constant complaints that "no one cares about me!" with undeniable proof that someone cared about me, which helped resolve those feelings over time. Something I have long recommended: If you know someone is suicidal, just keep them company. They are much less likely to die by their own hand if they aren't alone. I know this works and I used it to help someone I knew some years ago who was suicidal.

by JadeNB 6y ago

DoreenMichele 6y ago

I have two adult sons who nursed me back to health after doctors wrote me off for dead. Among other things, having been raised by me, they were really savvy about handling it when I was genuinely, seriously suicidal because I was so miserable. Two things that became policy: 1. "Do not engage Teh Crazeh" 2. Tend to mom's physical health when she's a nut job. The first means don't argue with me when I'm irrational. The fact that I'm irrational means nothing you say will do any good and it ends up magnifying the problem rather than helping. For the second point: At some point it became really clear that when I was seriously suicidal and acting really crazy, I was almost always physically at the end of my rope and just incapable of taking care of myself. It became my oldest son's policy to offer me food and drink and make sure I was warm enough (or sometimes cool enough, but usually warm enough because I have a long history of having trouble staying warm). And even if I was all "Don't change the subject, you disrespectful rat bastard!!!" he would just stick to trying to feed me, give me something to drink and get me warm. I almost always promptly fell asleep once I was fed, hydrated and warm enough and would wake up no longer crazed and wouldn't remember much of it. My kids were always given a pass on bad behavior when they were sick as kids. If they were feverish and being awful, I would send them to bed to get some sleep rather than punishing them. So that came back to me during my lengthy health crisis as them developing this policy of feed me, hydrate me, get me warm, and ignore the nonsense I was saying. A third policy was that I would let them know when I was just out there and couldn't be left alone and they would babysit me and make sure I was not left alone on days when I was like "Yeah, I'm not right and can't be trusted with my own welfare." That both made sure I didn't attempt suicide and addressed my constant complaints that "no one cares about me!" with undeniable proof that someone cared about me, which helped resolve those feelings over time. Something I have long recommended: If you know someone is suicidal, just keep them company. They are much less likely to die by their own hand if they aren't alone. I know this works and I used it to help someone I knew some years ago who was suicidal.