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> To feed the hungry shouldn’t be on the basis of whether they ‘deserve it or not’. But that wasn't my point, it's not about "who's deserving of what". It's ab

> To feed the hungry shouldn’t be on the basis of whether they ‘deserve it or not’. But that wasn't my point, it's not about "who's deserving of what". It's about dying of thirst in the desert and turning down somebody offering you water because you insist on getting Gatorade instead. At that point it's not about "deserving" anymore but it's very much entitlement. It also means whoever is dying of thirst there either doesn't have their priorities right or they ain't actually dying of thirst if they can still be so picky to demand Gatorade over water. Or to apply it to your example of food being handed out at temples: Imagine if somebody turned down all that food on offer, while insisting that they get exactly the dish they want like in an à la carte restaurant. Don't you think that would come across as tone-deaf and entitled?

jelliclesfarm 6y ago
I agree. That’s why my rule is to give only when asked and only if it’s within my ability..otherwise it’s just a savior complex. And people turn down food all the time. It means they can go without food for another day! Good for them! There are others who need what is on offer. I try to focus on my ability rather than their need. It’s 7.5+ billion people..Can’t help everyone!
- freeflight 6y ago
  > otherwise it’s just a savior complex. Or maybe just reaching out a helping hand to fellow human being that's apparently in need? If that leads to everybody involved being even slightly better off, why should that be considered some kind of negative complex? On that front, human pride and societal norms can be very weird beasts: Way too many people who would really need the help of somebody else, often are either too proud or too scared to actually ask for that helping hand. Too hard-coded is the fear of appearing vulnerable/embarrassed, particularly in-front of strangers. At least that's something I've noticed in Western societies, where begging (which is also a form of asking) is often considered some kind of scam and with demands to never support it by actually giving anything.
  - jelliclesfarm 6y ago
    Sure. Everyone should do that which feels right to them. There is no universal rule. I was just sharing why my lived experience makes me less susceptible to knee jerk automatic charity that relies on reading outward signaling. Everyone is different.

jelliclesfarm 6y ago

I agree. That’s why my rule is to give only when asked and only if it’s within my ability..otherwise it’s just a savior complex. And people turn down food all the time. It means they can go without food for another day! Good for them! There are others who need what is on offer. I try to focus on my ability rather than their need. It’s 7.5+ billion people..Can’t help everyone!

freeflight 6y ago
> otherwise it’s just a savior complex. Or maybe just reaching out a helping hand to fellow human being that's apparently in need? If that leads to everybody involved being even slightly better off, why should that be considered some kind of negative complex? On that front, human pride and societal norms can be very weird beasts: Way too many people who would really need the help of somebody else, often are either too proud or too scared to actually ask for that helping hand. Too hard-coded is the fear of appearing vulnerable/embarrassed, particularly in-front of strangers. At least that's something I've noticed in Western societies, where begging (which is also a form of asking) is often considered some kind of scam and with demands to never support it by actually giving anything.
- jelliclesfarm 6y ago
  Sure. Everyone should do that which feels right to them. There is no universal rule. I was just sharing why my lived experience makes me less susceptible to knee jerk automatic charity that relies on reading outward signaling. Everyone is different.