5 ms·
Women want the best 5%. If you are not in that group go to a smaller room.
by wolco2 6y ago
Women want the best 5%. If you are not in that group go to a smaller room.
- throwaway39938 6y agoHow do you think that translates to the context of online dating? There are no rooms, just 1-1 matches. You can't stand out more by swiping less, can you? Your best strategy is always simple to swipe as much as possible (until the algorithm punishes you for doing that.)
- wolco2 6y agoGo use a smaller app or a smaller dating site. Is tinderthe only site you use ? Why not go more niche. Are you Jewish, Christian, plenty of sites can be found. Are you into a specific sexual preference or gender? Plenty of sites around those...
- throwaway39938 6y agoThis discussion wasn't about which site to use, it was about when you're on a given site, how much does it make sense to swipe. And the only logical answer is to swipe as much as possible. Moving to another app doesn't change that.
- wolco2 6y agoThat's not logical that's thinking linearly. What are you even swiping at if you are swiping at everything? You control the words in your profile, your picture. Want a gothic girl make your profile and pic match. Swipe only on goths profiles. When you try to be everything you become nothing.
- sir_bearington 6y agoI think you're missing the point. The disparity in match rates is such that most men are not able to get matches while being selective. If he only swipes on goth profiles, he'll get no matches unless he's incredibly lucky. Between swiping selectively and having a high probability of zero matches, and swiping liberally and having a good probability of getting at least a few matches I'm not surprised most men choose the latter.
- wolco2 6y agoIf he isn't targeting a group his odds are 5%. By hyper targetting those odds could be much higher Randomly adding private ig profiles as a male probably has a 1-3% chance of success but as a good looking female that number probably jumps to 15%+. But if he was a goth had interesting goth photos that person will identify with him and add him. Swiping everyone is just like emailing every company your resume. Spend sometime craft your profile and target who you want. Want a ton more matches? Post a pic of your cat as your picture. Women may not find you interesting but many will want to meet your cat.
- sir_bearington 6y agoWhy do you think a narrow search is any more likely to result in a match? The other party does not know who else you swipe right on. Narrowing a search does not yield an increase in match rates. Bob is interested in goth women. There's 5 of them in his area. Plus another 95 non-goth women. If he accepts only the 5 goth women, he might get lucky and get a match but at 1-3% change of matching he's still likely to have zero matches. But if he swipes right on all 100 women his chances of having at lease a couple matches goes up drastically, and the 5 goth women he's especially interested are no less likely to match with him. Sure, taking better pictures and working out to become more attractive increases the likelihood of matching. If Bob hits the gym, gets some professional photos taken, and crafts a better profile his match rate with those 5 goth women will increase. But his chances also increase for the other 95 women, and he has no reason to refrain from swiping right on them. > Swiping everyone is just like emailing every company your resume. Spend sometime craft your profile and target who you want. Yes! When you're job searching there's no reason to limit your job search. Yes, you should craft your resume and cover letter to emphasize the skills the company is looking for. But you're still strictly better off applying to 100 companies as compared to 10 companies. Online dating is no different. In fact I was job searching not long ago and I applied to ~50 companies a day. Why not apply to a company I'm only lukewarm about? If it turns out I don't like the company I can just not schedule an interview. Or do the interview anyway, and use a potential offer as leverage in negotiating.
- 6y ago
- standardUser 6y agoOne thing women absolutely do not want are men who make sweeping generalizations about all women, based on no evidence or compelling arguments.
- candiodari 6y agoAnd women out of hand rejecting more than 95% of all males sends what message exactly? That’s not a sweeping generalisation of men?
- standardUser 6y agoIt could be that women don't want the "top 5%", but rather are seeking men who are simply acceptable, who don't exude misogynistic tendencies, who bother to groom themselves, who treat others with respect. A tall order, considering most men are trash, including the good-looking ones.
- chillwaves 6y agoI strongly agree. Some might call the comment sexist, and inherently it is so, but that misses the point. The point is we live in a society that is male dominated (sexist) and it has unpleasant effects on socialization which leaves many "normal" men to be problematic (or as you put it, "trash").
- wolco2 6y agoWhat about other women?
- TheOtherHobbes 6y agoIndeed. Women want the best 5% from the available pool. If you're not in the top 5% on Tinder, go find a smaller and more selective pool and you'll do fine. Also, Tinder has a very specific age demographic which skews younger - which is when women are most desirable. Women start having a harder time once they reach 35, and a nearly impossible time when they reach 50.