4 ms·

Quiet People in Meetings Are Incredible

13 points by benryon 6y ago

kevsim 6y ago
Knowing when not to talk is particularly important for people in leadership positions. A manager coming into a meeting and blurting out what they think about everything is a sure fire way to stifle creative debate in their team. While some people will step up and disagree with "the boss" many will not. I wrote a bit of a thing that touched on this a while back [0] and, based on the feedback I got, I think a lot of managers do this without realizing it. Many managers feel the need to break the silence if the team isn't engaging. If you feel this need, do so with a question instead. 0: https://medium.com/kitemaker-blog/you-need-to-get-your-team-talking-21c6a6803b1c https://medium.com/kitemaker-blog/you-need-to-get-your-team-...
mcntsh 6y ago
Not in my experience, at least in engineering. The teams I work in are filled with quiet people who either simply lack confidence, or worse even, have no personal opinion about the topic at all. They're frustrating to work with because someone has to drive meetings, bring up problems, and come up with solutions to these problems and if the whole team were filled with these "gorgeous quiet creatures", nothing would get done. The energy seems more like "I don't really care about this just tell me what to do" rather than "I am brilliantly analysing this situation as a wall flower ready to spring to life when it's most important". Even if they were the latter, how's a meeting supposed to function this way? Are meetings really theatrical exercises, or a game where the person who says the most clever thing in a few words as possible wins?
- djeiasbsbo 6y ago
  I agree. In this article, he generalizes the "quiet coworker". Really, there can be many reasons why someone stays quiet. It also doesn't mean that they're just not interested, it can but that's also a bit too general of an assumption. I think it would have been better if he had made this article about the people who talk too much and about non relevant topics.

13 points by benryon 6y ago

Knowing when not to talk is particularly important for people in leadership positions. A manager coming into a meeting and blurting out what they think about everything is a sure fire way to stifle creative debate in their team. While some people will step up and disagree with "the boss" many will not. I wrote a bit of a thing that touched on this a while back [0] and, based on the feedback I got, I think a lot of managers do this without realizing it. Many managers feel the need to break the silence if the team isn't engaging. If you feel this need, do so with a question instead. 0: https://medium.com/kitemaker-blog/you-need-to-get-your-team-talking-21c6a6803b1c https://medium.com/kitemaker-blog/you-need-to-get-your-team-...

mcntsh 6y ago

Not in my experience, at least in engineering. The teams I work in are filled with quiet people who either simply lack confidence, or worse even, have no personal opinion about the topic at all. They're frustrating to work with because someone has to drive meetings, bring up problems, and come up with solutions to these problems and if the whole team were filled with these "gorgeous quiet creatures", nothing would get done. The energy seems more like "I don't really care about this just tell me what to do" rather than "I am brilliantly analysing this situation as a wall flower ready to spring to life when it's most important". Even if they were the latter, how's a meeting supposed to function this way? Are meetings really theatrical exercises, or a game where the person who says the most clever thing in a few words as possible wins?

djeiasbsbo 6y ago
I agree. In this article, he generalizes the "quiet coworker". Really, there can be many reasons why someone stays quiet. It also doesn't mean that they're just not interested, it can but that's also a bit too general of an assumption. I think it would have been better if he had made this article about the people who talk too much and about non relevant topics.