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>There's plenty of coworkers I like and some I'm actually friends with, but also plenty of people who try to use the conditions of our mutual employment to fill
by ubercow13 6y ago
>There's plenty of coworkers I like and some I'm actually friends with, but also plenty of people who try to use the conditions of our mutual employment to fill in for friendships they didn't develop outside of work.
That seems an uncharitable way to put it. People only make friends in general by putting themselves out there and making an effort. Is the difference between those two groups merely that the 'actual friends' are the ones who you ended up liking rather than having to pretend to like?
- noirbot 6y agoI mostly mean it to be people who try to push for "team events" or "team lunches" or "team happy hours", even when some or most of the team make it clear that they're not interested. Often this is accompanied by shaming/annoyance if you're not interested in joining in. I don't mind people trying to make friends at work, and often I don't even dislike the people who annoy me like this, I just don't like them as much as they seem to like the idea of spending time with me. There's a gap between people I like making smalltalk with before a meeting or while I'm taking a break to get coffee, and people I want to have a dedicated social time with. If you want to make friends at work, don't use the mechanisms of my employment to coerce me into spending time with you.