4 ms·

I have too much pressure from my significant other. She can't look at me doing nothing (when I'm thinking or having my 15 minute rest between productive hours).

I have too much pressure from my significant other. She can't look at me doing nothing (when I'm thinking or having my 15 minute rest between productive hours). Every single time I need to clean something up. I started going to the store and cooking lunch during work hours. Then I also get complaints about not doing the dishes while I'm working. It was nice when the work and home were separated and I just did all my household chores on my non-work time. Now I'm constantly interrupted.

derwiki 6y ago
I largely echo sibling posts saying you should address this with her, but if available to you I might suggest speaking with a therapist first. Potentially starting a fight with someone you’re locked at home with is risky.
krig 6y ago
Not to assume anything, but you might need to discuss this with your SO rather than HN. I’m not saying that to be snarky but really, without communication you’ll end up not understanding each other. She may be dealing with stresses of her own, triggering overly controlling behaviour.
pracer 6y ago
You may have a boundary and respect problem there. Working from home just uncovered it and it may be a good idea to solve it.
redis_mlc 6y ago
According to the MGTOW community, women require constant validation, often subconsciously. So think of her nagging as not being able to realize and limit her need for validation from you. You can look for related titles on Youtube with Red Pill and MGTOW in the titles that will help you to frame for yourself and how to explain to your wife that dysfunctional but common element of your relationship.
HatchedLake721 6y ago
Have you communicated that? “Hey, I’m busy earning money. Because I’m sitting and thinking doesn’t mean I’m slacking off, and I’m also quite surprised to hear that from my significant other. You don’t know what I’m doing right now and you’re not my manager, so stop controlling and managing my work time. You’re distracting me from my work so please leave me alone. If you can’t look at me thinking and doing my work then please look the other way or go to the other room. Thanks, bye.” I’m dramatizing, but set boundaries. There’s personal time and work time. When it’s work, it’s work.
jcims 6y ago
Unsolicited advice warning That's a long road. I think it's fair to ask you to pull your weight with the housework but maybe try setting some standard boundaries e.g. between 8-5 or something, so there's no need for an interaction ('are you done working?'). If you're conveniently 'working' every time she asks that's not going to help. Or you could ask her to do your work while you do the dishes/cook/etc. My suggestion would be that no matter what you decide, propose the idea proactively. Don't wait until there's an ask on the table.
layoutIfNeeded 6y ago
>It was nice when the work and home were separated Ehm... how should I put it... I think your issue is not the separation of work and home per se, rather the separation of you and your SO.

derwiki 6y ago

I largely echo sibling posts saying you should address this with her, but if available to you I might suggest speaking with a therapist first. Potentially starting a fight with someone you’re locked at home with is risky.

krig 6y ago

Not to assume anything, but you might need to discuss this with your SO rather than HN. I’m not saying that to be snarky but really, without communication you’ll end up not understanding each other. She may be dealing with stresses of her own, triggering overly controlling behaviour.

pracer 6y ago

You may have a boundary and respect problem there. Working from home just uncovered it and it may be a good idea to solve it.

redis_mlc 6y ago

According to the MGTOW community, women require constant validation, often subconsciously. So think of her nagging as not being able to realize and limit her need for validation from you. You can look for related titles on Youtube with Red Pill and MGTOW in the titles that will help you to frame for yourself and how to explain to your wife that dysfunctional but common element of your relationship.

HatchedLake721 6y ago

Have you communicated that? “Hey, I’m busy earning money. Because I’m sitting and thinking doesn’t mean I’m slacking off, and I’m also quite surprised to hear that from my significant other. You don’t know what I’m doing right now and you’re not my manager, so stop controlling and managing my work time. You’re distracting me from my work so please leave me alone. If you can’t look at me thinking and doing my work then please look the other way or go to the other room. Thanks, bye.” I’m dramatizing, but set boundaries. There’s personal time and work time. When it’s work, it’s work.

jcims 6y ago

Unsolicited advice warning That's a long road. I think it's fair to ask you to pull your weight with the housework but maybe try setting some standard boundaries e.g. between 8-5 or something, so there's no need for an interaction ('are you done working?'). If you're conveniently 'working' every time she asks that's not going to help. Or you could ask her to do your work while you do the dishes/cook/etc. My suggestion would be that no matter what you decide, propose the idea proactively. Don't wait until there's an ask on the table.

layoutIfNeeded 6y ago

>It was nice when the work and home were separated Ehm... how should I put it... I think your issue is not the separation of work and home per se, rather the separation of you and your SO.