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using throwaway for this. >The problem that I’m having is, I don’t know, I don’t exactly have a goal for the rest of my life I can attest to this. I grew up i

using throwaway for this. >The problem that I’m having is, I don’t know, I don’t exactly have a goal for the rest of my life I can attest to this. I grew up in a very middle class family in a third world country and had been chasing my dreams - become a successful entrepreneur in silicon valley. I worked insanely hard for this, compromising on personal relationships, health, everything. And then, one day, I become successful. Very, very successful. I am quite wealthy now and the wealth will last generations. I am well known in the industry I work in. But it had been a struggle after I achieved success. I found myself depressed. And just last month I was put on medications. Turns out, this is very common problem when you had been chasing your dreams all your life. Like climbing a mountain. Once you have climbed to the top, that's it. You enjoy it for a while and then you start thinking ..now what?

simonebrunozzi 6y ago
Sorry to hear this. I am partially in your situation (just much less successful and wealthy, but enough to be relaxed about my career and money), and I am doing quite well, despite this weird covid year. Have you tried to speak with friends, assuming you have a few? Your depression / anxiety is exactly what good friends are for. If I can be of any help, drop me a note ($HNusername at gmail), and stay anonymous if you'd like. I'd be happy to chat with you. Strangers have helped me in my life; I don't mind reciprocating.
chordalkeyboard 6y ago
you can undergo a process of self-discovery and become a mentor to the people around you. and work on building back some of what you sacrificed to get here. Congratulations!
- throwawaynov20 6y ago
  I am doing that and have been donating both time and money to various causes but it is not something that brings me inherent joy. I am just living each day as it comes, but this is nowhere close to the fanatic/adrenaline filled goal driven days I have lived. moreover, I don't even indulge in anything expensive, so I don't even feel motivated to earn more money or spend it.
  - chordalkeyboard 6y ago
    I'm not qualified to give spiritual guidance. You may need some years to recover from the grind that got you where you are today. my personal path of self-discovery has been fulfilling but I wouldn't say it brought me joy (yet). if you miss the adrenaline perhaps you would enjoy a competitive activity like sports or chess. > I don't even indulge in anything expensive, so I don't even feel motivated to earn more money or spend it. Thats probably healthy.
  - ScottyFillups 6y ago
    Can't you just pick a more ambitious goal? Like world domination? :^)
    - chordalkeyboard 6y ago
      Thats a crowded, competitive space. He would risk losing what he has gained so far.
      - ScottyFillups 6y ago
        Indeed. But to be frank, I think he's lost something much more important. Besides, he's already demonstrated he's capable of flourishing when risks are present. I don't think the space is that crowded; who do you think is legitimately trying to establish order? It seems like the majority of the western ruling class are a bunch of old people merely trying to have a bit of fun before they die.
        chordalkeyboard 6y ago
        > But to be frank, I think he's lost something much more important. Please continue. > he's already demonstrated he's capable of flourishing when risks are present. That is an excellent point. > who do you think is legitimately trying to establish order? I'm not sure how to go about answering this, I think the space is as crowded as its going to be because people who are more competent push out and make irrelevant people who are less relevant. > It seems like the majority of the western ruling class are a bunch of old people merely trying to have a bit of fun before they die. Personally I cannot think of anything more boring than a meeting of the EU Parliament, the UN, US Congress, or the CCP.
3D25157725 6y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I2pcIbyq-0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I2pcIbyq-0 It was a hoax.
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
prawn 6y ago
One way to get some sort of reset without giving up everything you've worked towards is to hike out and camp in backcountry. You're only taking what you can carry, so you leave a whole lot behind. If you're still in California, you have a lot of options within striking distance. There isn't really a pinnacle with the backcountry or walking on the ground - there's always a longer trail or more distant target.
- barrenko 6y ago
  Yeah, not really. Like in the story in the link, and more so in the movie "Castaway" there is a big difference to what you will undergo if you are saved in a reasonable timeframe and when you DON'T get saved within that timeframe or get saved at all. If Tom Hanks in Castaway got saved in a month or two he would mostly dust himself off and have a GREAT story to tell. But he didn't and now he's both kinda alive and not alive and kinda weird to himself and other people. Humans go through some weird stuff when hooked off civilization. Even within the civilization some people fall through the "cracks". What those cracks are I do not know. Resets are not for the faint of heart, and really shouldn't be messed with.
  - prawn 6y ago
    I'm talking about going camping for a few days every now and then as a change of pace. And about how in hiking there is no summit that ends your pursuit - you can find another hike or do something longer if you're keen. You appear to be talking about people getting lost in life and death situations.
triangleman 6y ago
"You fool, this very night your soul will be required of you..." (Luke 12:13-21)
hamburglar 6y ago
If you think back to the things you imagined you'd do when you got wealthy... can you do them now? I would imagine the answer is one of three things: 1) you've forgotten about them, 2) you can do them but have found that they really aren't very satisfying, or 3) they're actually impossible no matter how much money you have. I'm just curious. And also, I sincerely hope you find happiness.
- lisper 6y ago
  Not the OP, but I can answer some of your questions. I made enough about 15 years ago to never have to work again. It didn't take long to learn the following lessons: 1. Not working gets boring fast. In less than six months I was casting about for something to do. I still work, not because I have to, but because it gives me a reason to get up in the morning. It's not working that sucks, it's having to work that sucks. 2. You can get used to anything, and hardly anything is as nice in reality as it is in your imagination. The trappings commonly associated with money -- houses, cars, private jets -- the charm wears off shockingly quickly and it starts to feel like a burden and a PITA. The houses all need to be furnished and maintained. The cars get old and need to be maintained. Even private jet travel is not all it's cracked up to be. Today we have one house, we drive old, boring, but incredibly reliable Japanese cars, and we fly commercial (though I have to admit that being able to go business class is awfully nice). Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost.
  - MrBuddyCasino 6y ago
    > Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost. Words to remember.
  - jkepler 6y ago
    > Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost. Agreed. In other words, money is just a linguistic tool for communicating value. So, what do you say with how you use (or don't use) this tool? How do you express your core beliefs, convictions, or values with toul use of money? What are you trying to do ("pry") with this tool?
mjklin 6y ago
There’s an episode of Frasier where he wins a prestigious award for his work and he has a breakdown on stage: “I just wish I knew what the hell i was supposed to do now.” I believe it cold-ends right there.
hanche 6y ago
This reminds me of a cartoon I saw a long time ago. Wile E. Coyote had finally caught and eaten the road runner. Now his life had no meaning, and he was slowly drinking himself to death. Don’t end up like Wile.
throwamon 6y ago
Maybe you could make a fellow depressed and not-successful-at-all HNer happy by sharing 0.1% of your wealth? :) ... I wish I was joking :(
cflyingdutchman 6y ago
Video games provide this lesson relatively cheaply. The next level is tantalizing but the high of winning lasts...5 minutes? 1 day? The intensity of what you describe is not felt in this example, but going through that cycle 20 times is instructive. Another way to look at it: In life/happiness, optimize for the area under the curve, not for a single high point.
novok 6y ago
Time to get some personal relationships and health back then. And/or start some new projects in things you find significant, but not necessarily the most profitable. Kind of like the WhatsApp Founder donating to the Signal App and and being involved with it.
93po 6y ago
I think there's plenty of interesting new goals you could work towards that wouldn't necessarily be an easy thing due to your wealth. Try to become well known for something else. Start a youtube channel on something unrelated to your business. It could be about cosplay, blacksmithing, or a million other things that are not obvious money makers and don't need to be for you. I find that content creators work really hard but also find it extremely rewarding, and I think you'd find that it exercises different muscles that you aren't used to. I can think of so many things I'd try if I were wealthy. I'd produce a fantasy movie or TV show. I'd get my pilot license. I'd learn to sail and have a multimonth voyage. I'd setup my own creative studio to build practical effects for film and tv. I'd buy land and learn bushcraft on it and build a little castaway home using only the land. None of these have anything to do with my career in tech. Do you not have anything similar for yourself?

simonebrunozzi 6y ago

Sorry to hear this. I am partially in your situation (just much less successful and wealthy, but enough to be relaxed about my career and money), and I am doing quite well, despite this weird covid year. Have you tried to speak with friends, assuming you have a few? Your depression / anxiety is exactly what good friends are for. If I can be of any help, drop me a note ($HNusername at gmail), and stay anonymous if you'd like. I'd be happy to chat with you. Strangers have helped me in my life; I don't mind reciprocating.

chordalkeyboard 6y ago

you can undergo a process of self-discovery and become a mentor to the people around you. and work on building back some of what you sacrificed to get here. Congratulations!

throwawaynov20 6y ago
I am doing that and have been donating both time and money to various causes but it is not something that brings me inherent joy. I am just living each day as it comes, but this is nowhere close to the fanatic/adrenaline filled goal driven days I have lived. moreover, I don't even indulge in anything expensive, so I don't even feel motivated to earn more money or spend it.
- chordalkeyboard 6y ago
  I'm not qualified to give spiritual guidance. You may need some years to recover from the grind that got you where you are today. my personal path of self-discovery has been fulfilling but I wouldn't say it brought me joy (yet). if you miss the adrenaline perhaps you would enjoy a competitive activity like sports or chess. > I don't even indulge in anything expensive, so I don't even feel motivated to earn more money or spend it. Thats probably healthy.
- ScottyFillups 6y ago
  Can't you just pick a more ambitious goal? Like world domination? :^)
  - chordalkeyboard 6y ago
    Thats a crowded, competitive space. He would risk losing what he has gained so far.
    - ScottyFillups 6y ago
      Indeed. But to be frank, I think he's lost something much more important. Besides, he's already demonstrated he's capable of flourishing when risks are present. I don't think the space is that crowded; who do you think is legitimately trying to establish order? It seems like the majority of the western ruling class are a bunch of old people merely trying to have a bit of fun before they die.
      - chordalkeyboard 6y ago
        > But to be frank, I think he's lost something much more important. Please continue. > he's already demonstrated he's capable of flourishing when risks are present. That is an excellent point. > who do you think is legitimately trying to establish order? I'm not sure how to go about answering this, I think the space is as crowded as its going to be because people who are more competent push out and make irrelevant people who are less relevant. > It seems like the majority of the western ruling class are a bunch of old people merely trying to have a bit of fun before they die. Personally I cannot think of anything more boring than a meeting of the EU Parliament, the UN, US Congress, or the CCP.

3D25157725 6y ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I2pcIbyq-0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I2pcIbyq-0 It was a hoax.

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

prawn 6y ago

One way to get some sort of reset without giving up everything you've worked towards is to hike out and camp in backcountry. You're only taking what you can carry, so you leave a whole lot behind. If you're still in California, you have a lot of options within striking distance. There isn't really a pinnacle with the backcountry or walking on the ground - there's always a longer trail or more distant target.

barrenko 6y ago
Yeah, not really. Like in the story in the link, and more so in the movie "Castaway" there is a big difference to what you will undergo if you are saved in a reasonable timeframe and when you DON'T get saved within that timeframe or get saved at all. If Tom Hanks in Castaway got saved in a month or two he would mostly dust himself off and have a GREAT story to tell. But he didn't and now he's both kinda alive and not alive and kinda weird to himself and other people. Humans go through some weird stuff when hooked off civilization. Even within the civilization some people fall through the "cracks". What those cracks are I do not know. Resets are not for the faint of heart, and really shouldn't be messed with.
- prawn 6y ago
  I'm talking about going camping for a few days every now and then as a change of pace. And about how in hiking there is no summit that ends your pursuit - you can find another hike or do something longer if you're keen. You appear to be talking about people getting lost in life and death situations.

triangleman 6y ago

"You fool, this very night your soul will be required of you..." (Luke 12:13-21)

hamburglar 6y ago

If you think back to the things you imagined you'd do when you got wealthy... can you do them now? I would imagine the answer is one of three things: 1) you've forgotten about them, 2) you can do them but have found that they really aren't very satisfying, or 3) they're actually impossible no matter how much money you have. I'm just curious. And also, I sincerely hope you find happiness.

lisper 6y ago
Not the OP, but I can answer some of your questions. I made enough about 15 years ago to never have to work again. It didn't take long to learn the following lessons: 1. Not working gets boring fast. In less than six months I was casting about for something to do. I still work, not because I have to, but because it gives me a reason to get up in the morning. It's not working that sucks, it's having to work that sucks. 2. You can get used to anything, and hardly anything is as nice in reality as it is in your imagination. The trappings commonly associated with money -- houses, cars, private jets -- the charm wears off shockingly quickly and it starts to feel like a burden and a PITA. The houses all need to be furnished and maintained. The cars get old and need to be maintained. Even private jet travel is not all it's cracked up to be. Today we have one house, we drive old, boring, but incredibly reliable Japanese cars, and we fly commercial (though I have to admit that being able to go business class is awfully nice). Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost.
- MrBuddyCasino 6y ago
  > Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost. Words to remember.
- jkepler 6y ago
  > Money is just a lever. If you focus all your mental energy into acquiring the leverage without ever giving any thought to where you want to pry, you can end up badly lost. Agreed. In other words, money is just a linguistic tool for communicating value. So, what do you say with how you use (or don't use) this tool? How do you express your core beliefs, convictions, or values with toul use of money? What are you trying to do ("pry") with this tool?

mjklin 6y ago

There’s an episode of Frasier where he wins a prestigious award for his work and he has a breakdown on stage: “I just wish I knew what the hell i was supposed to do now.” I believe it cold-ends right there.

hanche 6y ago

This reminds me of a cartoon I saw a long time ago. Wile E. Coyote had finally caught and eaten the road runner. Now his life had no meaning, and he was slowly drinking himself to death. Don’t end up like Wile.

throwamon 6y ago

Maybe you could make a fellow depressed and not-successful-at-all HNer happy by sharing 0.1% of your wealth? :) ... I wish I was joking :(

cflyingdutchman 6y ago

Video games provide this lesson relatively cheaply. The next level is tantalizing but the high of winning lasts...5 minutes? 1 day? The intensity of what you describe is not felt in this example, but going through that cycle 20 times is instructive. Another way to look at it: In life/happiness, optimize for the area under the curve, not for a single high point.

novok 6y ago

Time to get some personal relationships and health back then. And/or start some new projects in things you find significant, but not necessarily the most profitable. Kind of like the WhatsApp Founder donating to the Signal App and and being involved with it.

93po 6y ago

I think there's plenty of interesting new goals you could work towards that wouldn't necessarily be an easy thing due to your wealth. Try to become well known for something else. Start a youtube channel on something unrelated to your business. It could be about cosplay, blacksmithing, or a million other things that are not obvious money makers and don't need to be for you. I find that content creators work really hard but also find it extremely rewarding, and I think you'd find that it exercises different muscles that you aren't used to. I can think of so many things I'd try if I were wealthy. I'd produce a fantasy movie or TV show. I'd get my pilot license. I'd learn to sail and have a multimonth voyage. I'd setup my own creative studio to build practical effects for film and tv. I'd buy land and learn bushcraft on it and build a little castaway home using only the land. None of these have anything to do with my career in tech. Do you not have anything similar for yourself?