I think that's an important ground rule, for sure: You don't _have_ to do any of that. You can absolutely tell a jerk to do whatever comes to mind. If you want

I think that's an important ground rule, for sure: You don't _have_ to do any of that. You can absolutely tell a jerk to do whatever comes to mind. If you want. I know I've done that before. (I would add that I regretted it because, in part, it complicated community discussions later) In a lot of ways, I think that once you feel like you _have_ to do this or that, especially the professional stuff, your personal values (i.e. "but I don't wanna... This is supposed to be fun, that's what I want more of in my life") will start pushing back on you and you'll have an internal conflict on your hands. However: - I think it's a better idea to identify specific people with whom you can really have fun and let go. "General public" has never been a good return on heavily-subjective communication investments. But with a little calibration? Figuring out who else is going to make this fun and enjoyable? That's where the fun can really pick up. I have fond memories of traveling to different spots in the world, and meeting close FOSS project friends. - There are tons of different degrees of professional standards. You can be humorous, you can give funny examples. Or you can just try to meet a reasonably objective "not a terrible communicator" standard. - It's also about what you're _not_ perceived as: Rude, out for money, vindictive. - Unfortunately the word "professional" really echoes our social values as a group. But that's just the lay of the land right now. Some of the best communication training Joe Average will ever receive is only available in a "professional" setting. The word and system suck in a lot of ways, but there's some good stuff in there if you can set aside the parts that annoy you. Anyway, don't do this professional stuff, it will make your life more tedious and boring, etc. ;-) But those little points of leverage have helped me and that's where I'm coming from.