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I see this sentiment often from parents. It baffles me. If you made decisions in your youth that you think were mistakes, you should be passing on the lessons
by uoaei 6y ago
I see this sentiment often from parents. It baffles me.
If you made decisions in your youth that you think were mistakes, you should be passing on the lessons of those mistakes. Not stepping back in non-judgment because "who am I to say". You are their parent!
- jvanderbot 6y agoI think op was missing the implied " and I turned out ok "
- nhumrich 6y agoI think it's less about "mistakes I made as a kid", and moreso, "I turned out great, so maybe they aren't mistakes"
- aaronblohowiak 6y agoOr lessons well learned
- bladegash 6y agoYeah, sorry for the confusion - that sentence likely could have been more complete. As others mentioned, I feel as though I turned out fine and I regret next to none of that time spent.
- pyuser583 6y agoI agree with you. My daughter spent 100% of her allowance on Robux. Now she doesn’t have an allowance.
- m0zg 6y ago> you should be passing on the lessons One thing parents discover is that if it's between dopamine and "lessons", dopamine wins 100% of the time. My 16 year old right now is playing games instead of doing his homework. He's going to have 2 "F"s this semester, just like the last, and one before that, and one before that. Doesn't give a shit - never experienced any hardship (yet).
- meheleventyone 6y agoThere's obviously a lot not said here but are you waiting for your kid to be "scared straight" or something?
- m0zg 6y agoOh no, I'm not "waiting". I'm trying to convince him that he's making bad choices, that he's making his own life dramatically harder in the long run, and so on, trying to get him to actually think what he wants to be when he grows up and create a plan of some sort for how to get there, maybe. He even nods in agreement. The moment I turn around he fires up a game or YouTube and he's right back to his dopamine cycle. So I'm afraid the school of hard knocks it'll have to be. There's this misconception among non-parents (or even parents of well behaved kids) that kids are robots and they will automatically listen to whatever "lessons" you give them. That may or may not happen, depending on the kid, and you really have little to no control over whether it does happen. And gaming, social media, etc, companies aren't making any of this any easier, unfortunately. This is something we'll have to pay a heavy price for in 10 years or so, that much is pretty certain.
- uoaei 6y agoThis is gonna sound harsh, but: You haven't earned the trust of your children.
- AussieWog93 6y agoI'll play devil's advocate here: is he making a bad choice because of simple dopamine addiction or does he actually not want to go down the path that you want him to? My 17 year-old cousin is flunking school because (in his parents' eyes) he was "addicted" to online gaming, yet strangely when with other family members his "addiction" symptoms would disappear and he would be helpful, diligent and talkative. He'd even listen to advice and help out unprompted. As in, you literally take a phone call and come back and he's doing the dishes. Not playing Fortnite, not watching YouTube, scrubbing plates. The reality of the situation, that's painfully obvious to everyone except his mum and dad, is that a) there is some sort of breakdown in the relationship that has nothing to do with online technology (he has his iPhone on him 24/7 and will go hours without using it outside the home) and b) he fully understands that dedicating himself to his studies will help him follow the path his parents want for him - it's just not what he wants. Drug addicts disengage from society well before they become addicted. I don't see any reason why "Dopamine addicts" are any different.