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I think a lot of people are missing the point. That could be attributed to the poor title, though. The way I see it, pre-phone their daughter was probably much

I think a lot of people are missing the point. That could be attributed to the poor title, though. The way I see it, pre-phone their daughter was probably much more engaged with her parents and was doing more manual creative stuff. After the phone appeared, she distanced herself and got absorbed by it. I don't get why so many people here are trying to defend smartphones/social media? Isn't it pretty obvious they are addictive? And to a young kid, that doesn't know any better, it can get really bad.

sequoia 6y ago
Agreed that these can be bad (my kids have some socials but I keep an eye on them and have lots of talks about pitfalls to avoid), but for the sake of argument I can't help pointing out that what you're describing is a normal process of individuation that teens all go through. Social attention focused inward toward family --> Social attention turning outward towards others + establishing an identity apart from that of the family. This is totally normal.
Jyaif 6y ago
Is being addicted to creating tiktkok/instagram content to get likes such a bad thing? The fight to stand out on those social networks forces you to be creative.
- sibeliuss 6y ago
  I'd argue that the fight to stand out on these networks forces you, rather, into a low-level depression.
JoeCianflone 6y ago
Its the job of the parent to set limits.
donmcronald 6y ago
Some apps are addictive, not all of them. The biggest problem IMO is that "no phone" isn't an option. Kids need a phone to participate in society. That's just the way it is. The problem I see is that phones have super addictive apps like TikTok that target young kids, so giving them the "good half" of a phone means you also end up giving them the "bad half" and kids aren't good at understanding why the bad half is bad for them. It's like serving a kid a plate of food with vegetables and meth side-by-side and the meth dealer is making every effort they can to push the meth into the vegetables.

sequoia 6y ago

Agreed that these can be bad (my kids have some socials but I keep an eye on them and have lots of talks about pitfalls to avoid), but for the sake of argument I can't help pointing out that what you're describing is a normal process of individuation that teens all go through. Social attention focused inward toward family --> Social attention turning outward towards others + establishing an identity apart from that of the family. This is totally normal.

Jyaif 6y ago

Is being addicted to creating tiktkok/instagram content to get likes such a bad thing? The fight to stand out on those social networks forces you to be creative.

sibeliuss 6y ago
I'd argue that the fight to stand out on these networks forces you, rather, into a low-level depression.

JoeCianflone 6y ago

Its the job of the parent to set limits.

donmcronald 6y ago

Some apps are addictive, not all of them. The biggest problem IMO is that "no phone" isn't an option. Kids need a phone to participate in society. That's just the way it is. The problem I see is that phones have super addictive apps like TikTok that target young kids, so giving them the "good half" of a phone means you also end up giving them the "bad half" and kids aren't good at understanding why the bad half is bad for them. It's like serving a kid a plate of food with vegetables and meth side-by-side and the meth dealer is making every effort they can to push the meth into the vegetables.