First off, huge hug. Second, if you've been unemployed for that many years, I suspect underlying mental health issues you may not be aware of (or haven't discl

First off, huge hug. Second, if you've been unemployed for that many years, I suspect underlying mental health issues you may not be aware of (or haven't disclosed) is responsible for this, and not so much you doing something wrong in tech or your skills even. Please immediately get help. You can even call 911 and tell them you're in crisis; they can connect you with social workers/therapists who can connect you with crisis help. Alternatively, call https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ immediately. There is mental health help for people who are low-income/unemployed! Stay safe and hang in there.