4 ms·

You misunderstood the point. It's not about being a shy wall-flower. It's about not being a whiner; about not complaining how hard you have it, how everything i

by roel_v 16y ago

You misunderstood the point. It's not about being a shy wall-flower. It's about not being a whiner; about not complaining how hard you have it, how everything is impossible and everybody else is so stupid, and how great you could and would and will be if only everything and everybody else didn't keep you from doing it. It's about forging yourself into a doer rather than a talker, by taking in stride the enormous stress that comes from rising above everybody else.

MediaSquirrel 16y ago
Sorry, but my lens is colored by the fact that I have actually been in these "quiet professional" cultures and seen the dark side that comes with the "quiet" in "quiet professional." JFDI––that part I'm on board with. I just don't understand why you need to be quiet about it.
- awj 16y ago
  > I just don't understand why you need to be quiet about it. Because it's too easy to let your days devolve into storms of bitching and moaning in which nothing of value is accomplished.
  - count 16y ago
    If you're bitching about nothing being done, you're not JFDIng it.
Swizec 16y ago
>You misunderstood the point. It's not about being a shy wall-flower. It's about not being a whiner; about not complaining how hard you have it, how everything is impossible and everybody else is so stupid, and how great you could and would and will be if only everything and everybody else didn't keep you from doing it. Why? What possibly could be the benefit of not complaining about stuff that sucks? Sure, I understand that stuff sucking shouldn't stop you from doing it, but why not complain about it? What's wrong with dissipating the frustration/anger/whatever? Hell, sometimes, if you complain enough, people might actually help and then magically you can achieve more than you could on your own.
- bad_user 16y ago
  Biggest reason why talking about something doesn't help is that "talking" feels like real work, when it isn't. Talking about your great idea to other people can only discourage you from doing anything about it. And speaking of getting stuck / being frustrated, most people don't realize the real reason for their anger / frustration. And there's nothing worse than bad advice from people that have no clue about what you're into, which is most people you know. And those that do, there's a high probability that they don't give a shit anyway. What's wrong with dissipating the frustration/anger/whatever? The problem is that it doesn't work, quite the contrary -- you get more angry / frustrated the more you talk about it. What works is identifying the real reason why stuff sucks, and learn to live with it or eliminate the factors that got you there in the first place. Only trained professionals can help you here (i.e. psychologists), but it's hard finding a competent one. Also, that's just like advising people to work on stuff they like -- easy to say, hard to do (which makes my comment completely useless).
  - MediaSquirrel 16y ago
    Yeah, this seems like the kind of thing that's gonna vary widely by personality and culture. Some people and some cultures find expressing emotion to be healing and the best thing ever (see latin america--my peeps), others think that expressing emotion is pointless and grotesque (see New England WASPs). Truth is, there's not one right answer, there;s just: What the hell is it gonna take for you to get shit done? Does talk help? Then talk to lots of people. Does locking yourself in a room and STFUing help? Then lock away! The key here is self-knowledge. Know what makes your productive and do that.
  - Swizec 16y ago
    > Talking about your great idea to other people can only discourage you from doing anything about it. But it also focuses you on your idea, makes you think about it, find the loopholes and so on. There's nothing like trying to explain something to someone to realize you don't understand it at all. Without trying to explain, you'd live on happily thinking you understand it. > The problem is that it doesn't work, quite the contrary -- you get more angry / frustrated the more you talk about it. That depends so much on your personality it's absurd. Maybe I hang out with women too much and their ways have rubbed off on me, but when I talk about my problems it helps me solve them. Don't care for the person's advice either, I just need someone to bitch at ... it helps me focus on the problem and see different ways of solving it. It's probably similar to how pg claims writing helps him think, well, talking helps me think :)

by roel_v 16y ago

MediaSquirrel 16y ago

Sorry, but my lens is colored by the fact that I have actually been in these "quiet professional" cultures and seen the dark side that comes with the "quiet" in "quiet professional." JFDI––that part I'm on board with. I just don't understand why you need to be quiet about it.

awj 16y ago
> I just don't understand why you need to be quiet about it. Because it's too easy to let your days devolve into storms of bitching and moaning in which nothing of value is accomplished.
- count 16y ago
  If you're bitching about nothing being done, you're not JFDIng it.

Swizec 16y ago

>You misunderstood the point. It's not about being a shy wall-flower. It's about not being a whiner; about not complaining how hard you have it, how everything is impossible and everybody else is so stupid, and how great you could and would and will be if only everything and everybody else didn't keep you from doing it. Why? What possibly could be the benefit of not complaining about stuff that sucks? Sure, I understand that stuff sucking shouldn't stop you from doing it, but why not complain about it? What's wrong with dissipating the frustration/anger/whatever? Hell, sometimes, if you complain enough, people might actually help and then magically you can achieve more than you could on your own.

bad_user 16y ago
Biggest reason why talking about something doesn't help is that "talking" feels like real work, when it isn't. Talking about your great idea to other people can only discourage you from doing anything about it. And speaking of getting stuck / being frustrated, most people don't realize the real reason for their anger / frustration. And there's nothing worse than bad advice from people that have no clue about what you're into, which is most people you know. And those that do, there's a high probability that they don't give a shit anyway. What's wrong with dissipating the frustration/anger/whatever? The problem is that it doesn't work, quite the contrary -- you get more angry / frustrated the more you talk about it. What works is identifying the real reason why stuff sucks, and learn to live with it or eliminate the factors that got you there in the first place. Only trained professionals can help you here (i.e. psychologists), but it's hard finding a competent one. Also, that's just like advising people to work on stuff they like -- easy to say, hard to do (which makes my comment completely useless).
- MediaSquirrel 16y ago
  Yeah, this seems like the kind of thing that's gonna vary widely by personality and culture. Some people and some cultures find expressing emotion to be healing and the best thing ever (see latin america--my peeps), others think that expressing emotion is pointless and grotesque (see New England WASPs). Truth is, there's not one right answer, there;s just: What the hell is it gonna take for you to get shit done? Does talk help? Then talk to lots of people. Does locking yourself in a room and STFUing help? Then lock away! The key here is self-knowledge. Know what makes your productive and do that.
- Swizec 16y ago
  > Talking about your great idea to other people can only discourage you from doing anything about it. But it also focuses you on your idea, makes you think about it, find the loopholes and so on. There's nothing like trying to explain something to someone to realize you don't understand it at all. Without trying to explain, you'd live on happily thinking you understand it. > The problem is that it doesn't work, quite the contrary -- you get more angry / frustrated the more you talk about it. That depends so much on your personality it's absurd. Maybe I hang out with women too much and their ways have rubbed off on me, but when I talk about my problems it helps me solve them. Don't care for the person's advice either, I just need someone to bitch at ... it helps me focus on the problem and see different ways of solving it. It's probably similar to how pg claims writing helps him think, well, talking helps me think :)