6 ms·

> "go to battle" I remember that in the first days after my kid was born, the thought that I would defend that child to the bitter end against any attacker sud

by lqet 6y ago

> "go to battle" I remember that in the first days after my kid was born, the thought that I would defend that child to the bitter end against any attacker suddenly seemed completely natural, even trivial. It was quite strange and included a sudden extreme awareness of (and aggressive feelings against) animals which came to close. This included dogs. The feelings were overwhelmingly archaic. I talked to my wife about this, she experienced the same. I now understand the aggressiveness of animals who protect their offspring. I felt it myself. There seems to be some research regarding this: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1474704916662285 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/147470491666228...

cortesoft 6y ago
I can totally relate to this. I have always been a completely non-violent person, but I remember the feeling of “I would kill to defend this tiny creature” when I became a dad. It was pretty powerful.
- kortilla 6y ago
  This is also when you realize the insidious power of the “think of the children” argument. When someone manipulates you to think of your own children, they trigger that base instinct that’s hard to fight.
  - colechristensen 6y ago
    Many of the problems in the world boil down to intentional and unintentional manipulation of basic instincts/ traits/ weaknesses of humans. The biggest way to fight this is simply making people aware of them.
  - Agentlien 6y ago
    This sentiment used to annoy me as it seemed like a non-sequitur. Now that I'm a father I'm much more wary of it because I know just what it means.
- lukaszkups 6y ago
  +1 to this. Some time ago a friend of mine from high school asked me how it feels to have a child and what do I feel for them - my answer was: "do you remember the time when you most powerfully fell in love to someone? Multiply that then by 100 and you'll get the answer" :) This is my very most fav life quote I've ever came up with :)
elteto 6y ago
One day it just hit me: "I could totally give my life for this child". It came out of nowhere and it was a chilling and somewhat unnerving feeling. I never felt that for anyone. But the conviction is there, almost like a peaceful resignation: if there is no other solution and that is the only possible alternative then so be it. Crazy.
- BurningFrog 6y ago
  This is obviously a trait evolution would strongly favor.
- 1996 6y ago
  Indeed, crazy. Some people think having a child rewrites of a lot of core routines - apparently also those involved into self-preservation. I'm sorry if that comes out as offensive, but this strikes me as something a virus or a parasite would also do, hijacking the host brain. How exposure to parasites encourages promiscuity has been studied: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4013694/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4013694/ Obviously, children may not be parasites, but the "It came out of nowhere and it was a chilling and somewhat unnerving feeling" part is troubling.
  - jelliclesfarm 6y ago
    except they are parasites. for women, biologically, the foetus considers the mother's body as the host body and siphons off resources. and thats ok. because the parasite is 50% of host DNA. all babies are born premature because we evolved quickly and the human female's pelvic bones didnt grow as wide and as quickly as the baby's head to come through the birth canal. even after birth, the human baby needs the mother/father for a much longer time for survival. progestrone, semen, testosterone, pregnancy etc hijacks not just the blood stream, hormones but also the brain because the fetus basically converts the mother's body into a fortress and a machine to keep itself alive. after birth, the immature baby/fetus also hijacks the father's brain and instincts. it's best to remember that all biological organisms are mere vehicles for DNA and it's survival instinct. this isnt just for humans. my favourites are insects. at the farm..watch the praying mantis and the tarantula wasp and the drone bees play out their lives changes your perspective on life forever.
mcv 6y ago
This protection instinct can be utterly irrational: when my first son was just born, we were walking on a sidewalk and a car passed by, and I felt a slight urge to throw myself in front of that car to protect my family. Of course I didn't, but I did know right then that I would be able to fight and give my life for my family, if necessary. I try not to, but I know it's in there.
- jelliclesfarm 6y ago
  you can made a copy of your code and put it inside a tiny human body. of course, you will defend it with your life! it is what will carry you..or rather a tiny sliver of you into immortality. it's precious because you will die one day but part of your code won't....your child will continue on and hopefully will reproduce to take forward a part of you and so on. we are all meat sacs carrying the code of life.
- lqet 6y ago
  That urge is what I meant by "overwhelmingly archaic feelings". I hesitated to write this as I am a completely nonviolent person, but at one point, I felt the urge to take out my cheap Swiss pocket knife in preparation to kill a dog which approached the family, in case he attacked. As another commenter has mentioned, this is just something evolution has strongly selected for.
  - mcv 6y ago
    It's definitely fascinating, feeling these outdated instincts in our modern world.
therockspush 6y ago
Its a sudden visceral awareness that you were a host for the DNA thats been passed down from millions of people that came before. The previous, relatively selfish person you used to be, almost immediately upon first seeing them, now only exists to protect this vulnerable life that's completely dependent on you.
touisteur 6y ago
It started for me the minute they were born. They had to take my first born twin in the next room while the second was coming, and I was so angry and mad, I barely contained myself and stayed bedside with my suffering wife. To this day I'm still so angry about this, and I beat myself I wasn't more of an advocate for my first-born girl... And then when they wanted to take one or the other away for exams, and I wouldn't leave them alone for a second. No fucking way. Yeah no, you're not taking them away to the nursery, I'll watch and console my girls while my wife gets some sleep. I know it'll seem strange but there's probably only 2 people in the world I'd leave my girls alone at home with, even though they're 4 now. And none of them are our parents. Some friendly neighbors for acute emergencies, maybe, but the list is short. And boy, having twins is a sure way to get attention, especially from nosy old people, that will put their face so close to the kids' or will remove the fucking stroller covers to see the baby's face (WTF!) and be angry when you say 'please don't'... I was humouring the old ladies, but my wife was dragon-like.

by lqet 6y ago

cortesoft 6y ago

I can totally relate to this. I have always been a completely non-violent person, but I remember the feeling of “I would kill to defend this tiny creature” when I became a dad. It was pretty powerful.

kortilla 6y ago
This is also when you realize the insidious power of the “think of the children” argument. When someone manipulates you to think of your own children, they trigger that base instinct that’s hard to fight.
- colechristensen 6y ago
  Many of the problems in the world boil down to intentional and unintentional manipulation of basic instincts/ traits/ weaknesses of humans. The biggest way to fight this is simply making people aware of them.
- Agentlien 6y ago
  This sentiment used to annoy me as it seemed like a non-sequitur. Now that I'm a father I'm much more wary of it because I know just what it means.
lukaszkups 6y ago
+1 to this. Some time ago a friend of mine from high school asked me how it feels to have a child and what do I feel for them - my answer was: "do you remember the time when you most powerfully fell in love to someone? Multiply that then by 100 and you'll get the answer" :) This is my very most fav life quote I've ever came up with :)

elteto 6y ago

One day it just hit me: "I could totally give my life for this child". It came out of nowhere and it was a chilling and somewhat unnerving feeling. I never felt that for anyone. But the conviction is there, almost like a peaceful resignation: if there is no other solution and that is the only possible alternative then so be it. Crazy.

BurningFrog 6y ago
This is obviously a trait evolution would strongly favor.
1996 6y ago
Indeed, crazy. Some people think having a child rewrites of a lot of core routines - apparently also those involved into self-preservation. I'm sorry if that comes out as offensive, but this strikes me as something a virus or a parasite would also do, hijacking the host brain. How exposure to parasites encourages promiscuity has been studied: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4013694/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4013694/ Obviously, children may not be parasites, but the "It came out of nowhere and it was a chilling and somewhat unnerving feeling" part is troubling.
- jelliclesfarm 6y ago
  except they are parasites. for women, biologically, the foetus considers the mother's body as the host body and siphons off resources. and thats ok. because the parasite is 50% of host DNA. all babies are born premature because we evolved quickly and the human female's pelvic bones didnt grow as wide and as quickly as the baby's head to come through the birth canal. even after birth, the human baby needs the mother/father for a much longer time for survival. progestrone, semen, testosterone, pregnancy etc hijacks not just the blood stream, hormones but also the brain because the fetus basically converts the mother's body into a fortress and a machine to keep itself alive. after birth, the immature baby/fetus also hijacks the father's brain and instincts. it's best to remember that all biological organisms are mere vehicles for DNA and it's survival instinct. this isnt just for humans. my favourites are insects. at the farm..watch the praying mantis and the tarantula wasp and the drone bees play out their lives changes your perspective on life forever.

mcv 6y ago

This protection instinct can be utterly irrational: when my first son was just born, we were walking on a sidewalk and a car passed by, and I felt a slight urge to throw myself in front of that car to protect my family. Of course I didn't, but I did know right then that I would be able to fight and give my life for my family, if necessary. I try not to, but I know it's in there.

jelliclesfarm 6y ago
you can made a copy of your code and put it inside a tiny human body. of course, you will defend it with your life! it is what will carry you..or rather a tiny sliver of you into immortality. it's precious because you will die one day but part of your code won't....your child will continue on and hopefully will reproduce to take forward a part of you and so on. we are all meat sacs carrying the code of life.
lqet 6y ago
That urge is what I meant by "overwhelmingly archaic feelings". I hesitated to write this as I am a completely nonviolent person, but at one point, I felt the urge to take out my cheap Swiss pocket knife in preparation to kill a dog which approached the family, in case he attacked. As another commenter has mentioned, this is just something evolution has strongly selected for.
- mcv 6y ago
  It's definitely fascinating, feeling these outdated instincts in our modern world.

therockspush 6y ago

Its a sudden visceral awareness that you were a host for the DNA thats been passed down from millions of people that came before. The previous, relatively selfish person you used to be, almost immediately upon first seeing them, now only exists to protect this vulnerable life that's completely dependent on you.

touisteur 6y ago

It started for me the minute they were born. They had to take my first born twin in the next room while the second was coming, and I was so angry and mad, I barely contained myself and stayed bedside with my suffering wife. To this day I'm still so angry about this, and I beat myself I wasn't more of an advocate for my first-born girl... And then when they wanted to take one or the other away for exams, and I wouldn't leave them alone for a second. No fucking way. Yeah no, you're not taking them away to the nursery, I'll watch and console my girls while my wife gets some sleep. I know it'll seem strange but there's probably only 2 people in the world I'd leave my girls alone at home with, even though they're 4 now. And none of them are our parents. Some friendly neighbors for acute emergencies, maybe, but the list is short. And boy, having twins is a sure way to get attention, especially from nosy old people, that will put their face so close to the kids' or will remove the fucking stroller covers to see the baby's face (WTF!) and be angry when you say 'please don't'... I was humouring the old ladies, but my wife was dragon-like.