3 ms·

I was shocked how much more _patient_ I became - with everybody - after raising kids. It makes perfect sense, though: I had no choice but to learn relentless p

I was shocked how much more _patient_ I became - with everybody - after raising kids. It makes perfect sense, though: I had no choice but to learn relentless patience.

djaychela 6y ago
Ironically I spent over a decade in teaching (and about 5 years in a school with lots of pupils with SEND requirements), and then when I met my girlfriend and her 4 kids (who I've now been step-parent of for 10+ years), I was told how patient I was - teaching taught me it first, which was handy as I wasn't patient before... but it's definitely needed with kids.
- yhoneycomb 6y ago
  Congratulations on being a step-parent for 10+ years! Unfortunately, much of society fails to recognize that we need compatible partners who love each other and will raise others' kids. It is a shame because it is truly important.
epx 6y ago
+1, I even started to "cry as a woman" after bad dreams or so. That started before the kid was born, even. My kid never had problems to sleep, he is by far more easygoing than either myself or even my wife, so I cannot blame external factors that forced me to be more patient or sympathetic. One basically gets a firmware upgrade when becomes a father.
- mattgreenrocks 6y ago
  There's a quote along these lines: "the son parents the father." It's always stuck with me for reasons that I'm sure you can relate to.
onemoresoop 6y ago
This is true for me as well. When my child was a few months old something clicked and the constant crying wasn't bothering me anymore. Since then, things that used to irk me are no longer affecting me. But I remember saying to myself that the baby isn't in control and they're not trying to be annoying on purpose, all babies cry (most of them of course) and there's no reason to get annoyed, it won't help me or anybody. I think it helped. Now at most I get a bit stressed out when the crying is very loud and incessant, but it does not register the way it used to. I remember the in first weeks I was a wreck and a lot of it was my own doing, I was anticipating the future distress and was getting annoyed in advance.

I was shocked how much more _patient_ I became - with everybody - after raising kids. It makes perfect sense, though: I had no choice but to learn relentless patience.

djaychela 6y ago

Ironically I spent over a decade in teaching (and about 5 years in a school with lots of pupils with SEND requirements), and then when I met my girlfriend and her 4 kids (who I've now been step-parent of for 10+ years), I was told how patient I was - teaching taught me it first, which was handy as I wasn't patient before... but it's definitely needed with kids.

yhoneycomb 6y ago
Congratulations on being a step-parent for 10+ years! Unfortunately, much of society fails to recognize that we need compatible partners who love each other and will raise others' kids. It is a shame because it is truly important.

epx 6y ago

+1, I even started to "cry as a woman" after bad dreams or so. That started before the kid was born, even. My kid never had problems to sleep, he is by far more easygoing than either myself or even my wife, so I cannot blame external factors that forced me to be more patient or sympathetic. One basically gets a firmware upgrade when becomes a father.

mattgreenrocks 6y ago
There's a quote along these lines: "the son parents the father." It's always stuck with me for reasons that I'm sure you can relate to.

onemoresoop 6y ago

This is true for me as well. When my child was a few months old something clicked and the constant crying wasn't bothering me anymore. Since then, things that used to irk me are no longer affecting me. But I remember saying to myself that the baby isn't in control and they're not trying to be annoying on purpose, all babies cry (most of them of course) and there's no reason to get annoyed, it won't help me or anybody. I think it helped. Now at most I get a bit stressed out when the crying is very loud and incessant, but it does not register the way it used to. I remember the in first weeks I was a wreck and a lot of it was my own doing, I was anticipating the future distress and was getting annoyed in advance.