4 ms·

Maybe remembering the fathers that after his kid is born there is a "hell" time of mostly 3-4 months where the baby will be adapting to you and vice-versa. The

Maybe remembering the fathers that after his kid is born there is a "hell" time of mostly 3-4 months where the baby will be adapting to you and vice-versa. Then the baby sleeps gets longer and you can have 6-8h of sleep. New fathers: Hold tight, after 3-4 months it gets way easier.

auslegung 6y ago
In my experience it's a lot longer than 3-4 months. Or perhaps it's hell for 3-4 months, then just purgatory for another couple of years. I have a 4-yo and 2.5-yo and my sleep has still not recovered. Just last night one of them woke up screaming, and this continues to happen about weekly. Being woken up in the middle of the night is one thing, being woken up in the middle of the night to the banshee screams of a young child is quite another.
- jnwatson 6y ago
  It varies widely. My kid has slept through the night since about 4 weeks old. The more kids you have, the more likely you are to get a fussy one.
- zrail 6y ago
  This rhymes with my experience. My 4.5yo only wakes up when she's sick but my 2yo wakes up at least once a night almost every night. Last night was the first time in weeks where she didn't, but then of course my body has been trained to respond to her so I didn't sleep well.
- PaulDavisThe1st 6y ago
  My mother, at 76 years old, to me at 56 years old and (former) stay-at-home parent: "oh, the first 40 years are the hardest".
- pavel_lishin 6y ago
  Seconding this. It wasn't until she turned four that we could assume that we would sleep through the night, instead of vice versa. Takes a long time for the exception to become the rule.
x87678r 6y ago
Just wait until they're 16 and aren't home by midnight and not answering phone.
- oblio 6y ago
  Yeah, but at that point it's kind of out of your control. You've probably provided 95% of the guidance you could have provided and they're almost grown-ups. I understand the attachment, but at some point you have to let go and life is full of risks (and interesting things). Though I doubt my reasoning will assuage any parental fears :-)
  - x87678r 6y ago
    > Though I doubt my reasoning will assuage any parental fears :-) Yeah how many teenagers do you parent? :)
    - oblio 6y ago
      None, yet. I do consider that I know myself well enough but we'll see in a bunch of years :-))
zo1 6y ago
It gets better after 1 years, then gets better after 2, and so on. Especially once they become autonomous and self-sustaining and you can reason with them using words. Then it's absolute rewarding bliss and frustrating chaos all at the same time.
- serpix 6y ago
  at the 8 year mark I have yet to experience this reasoning with words you speak of.
wincy 6y ago
My wife and I had two queen sized beds, I slept on one, and our infant and my wife on the other. We coslept and my wife breast fed ad libitum. People kept asking me if I was tired, and I was confused about what they meant. I remember her once commenting "it's so amazing, she (our daughter) sleeps through the night without feeding!" to which I replied, "no, she makes a small fuss and you roll over and pop a boob in her mouth"! Wife wasn't even aware it was happening, and we were well rested and happy. On the downside, breast feeding ad libitum basically meant my wife's full time job was to breast feed, we went on a date after our kid was a few months old and we had to cut it short because she was sore and it was feeding time. She estimates she spent 40+ hours a week breastfeeding. She played a lot of video games with our daughter latched on, since it could be pretty boring. Like any parents, we had a few "hell nights" when she was sick or teething, but in general human infants are significantly happier (and much quieter!) sleeping next to their mother, and unless a mother is either drunk or under the influence of some other substance, you're not going to crush your baby. I slept significantly more soundly and slept in a different bed. Putting your kid in a crib in a different room is a very weird, Victorian thing to do.
- dkural 6y ago
  I respect your choice; I suggest that you may try doing the same for people putting their kids in cribs instead of calling it weird and Victorian - because studies show it to reduce infant deaths; and it is practiced widely across the World, not just Victorian England. It is not weird for a parent to choose something that is shown to be safer for their infant. Again, I respect co-sleeping too; you had a queen just for baby and momma, and seem to be attentive and amazing parents. Some parents may be heavier sleepers though! I think there are many ways to be a good parent. Different room is also associated with higher risk though in the first 6 months ~ ideally crib is in a room with a parent.

auslegung 6y ago

In my experience it's a lot longer than 3-4 months. Or perhaps it's hell for 3-4 months, then just purgatory for another couple of years. I have a 4-yo and 2.5-yo and my sleep has still not recovered. Just last night one of them woke up screaming, and this continues to happen about weekly. Being woken up in the middle of the night is one thing, being woken up in the middle of the night to the banshee screams of a young child is quite another.

jnwatson 6y ago
It varies widely. My kid has slept through the night since about 4 weeks old. The more kids you have, the more likely you are to get a fussy one.
zrail 6y ago
This rhymes with my experience. My 4.5yo only wakes up when she's sick but my 2yo wakes up at least once a night almost every night. Last night was the first time in weeks where she didn't, but then of course my body has been trained to respond to her so I didn't sleep well.
PaulDavisThe1st 6y ago
My mother, at 76 years old, to me at 56 years old and (former) stay-at-home parent: "oh, the first 40 years are the hardest".
pavel_lishin 6y ago
Seconding this. It wasn't until she turned four that we could assume that we would sleep through the night, instead of vice versa. Takes a long time for the exception to become the rule.

x87678r 6y ago

Just wait until they're 16 and aren't home by midnight and not answering phone.

oblio 6y ago
Yeah, but at that point it's kind of out of your control. You've probably provided 95% of the guidance you could have provided and they're almost grown-ups. I understand the attachment, but at some point you have to let go and life is full of risks (and interesting things). Though I doubt my reasoning will assuage any parental fears :-)
- x87678r 6y ago
  > Though I doubt my reasoning will assuage any parental fears :-) Yeah how many teenagers do you parent? :)
  - oblio 6y ago
    None, yet. I do consider that I know myself well enough but we'll see in a bunch of years :-))

zo1 6y ago

It gets better after 1 years, then gets better after 2, and so on. Especially once they become autonomous and self-sustaining and you can reason with them using words. Then it's absolute rewarding bliss and frustrating chaos all at the same time.

serpix 6y ago
at the 8 year mark I have yet to experience this reasoning with words you speak of.

wincy 6y ago

My wife and I had two queen sized beds, I slept on one, and our infant and my wife on the other. We coslept and my wife breast fed ad libitum. People kept asking me if I was tired, and I was confused about what they meant. I remember her once commenting "it's so amazing, she (our daughter) sleeps through the night without feeding!" to which I replied, "no, she makes a small fuss and you roll over and pop a boob in her mouth"! Wife wasn't even aware it was happening, and we were well rested and happy. On the downside, breast feeding ad libitum basically meant my wife's full time job was to breast feed, we went on a date after our kid was a few months old and we had to cut it short because she was sore and it was feeding time. She estimates she spent 40+ hours a week breastfeeding. She played a lot of video games with our daughter latched on, since it could be pretty boring. Like any parents, we had a few "hell nights" when she was sick or teething, but in general human infants are significantly happier (and much quieter!) sleeping next to their mother, and unless a mother is either drunk or under the influence of some other substance, you're not going to crush your baby. I slept significantly more soundly and slept in a different bed. Putting your kid in a crib in a different room is a very weird, Victorian thing to do.

dkural 6y ago
I respect your choice; I suggest that you may try doing the same for people putting their kids in cribs instead of calling it weird and Victorian - because studies show it to reduce infant deaths; and it is practiced widely across the World, not just Victorian England. It is not weird for a parent to choose something that is shown to be safer for their infant. Again, I respect co-sleeping too; you had a queen just for baby and momma, and seem to be attentive and amazing parents. Some parents may be heavier sleepers though! I think there are many ways to be a good parent. Different room is also associated with higher risk though in the first 6 months ~ ideally crib is in a room with a parent.