3 ms·

Well yeah. At the start of covid, I was dealing with ptsd from a difficult childhood.. and after some time with a good therapist (for once) I've managed to wo

by ktm5j 6y ago

Well yeah. At the start of covid, I was dealing with ptsd from a difficult childhood.. and after some time with a good therapist (for once) I've managed to work past a lot of issues, and finally built up the courage to come out as transgender. Now I'm working with an endocrinologist on transitioning to female with hormone replacement therapy. Now I've been queer in intolerant environments before, but I have been pretty shocked with the way people have been treating me in the conservative area where I live. Basically I'm afraid of my own neighbours and have to drive an hour round trip into the city just to get groceries without being called a fag.. So, life is rough.. but getting a lot better. Thankfully my employer is being super supportive, as are all of my co-workers. Not speaking with my family though, I would have done this 10 years ago if it weren't for them actually :/

bstar77 6y ago
I don't understand what compels people to go out of their way to hurt others that just want to live their life as anyone would. That said, if you really think your neighbors are a threat to your well being, you might want to setup some cameras to record any altercations or harassments.
- ktm5j 6y ago
  I've got cameras.. but these things don't happen in front of my house. I have witnesses, I've thought about pursuing the police option.. but I don't exactly see that route improving my popularity, nor do I expect the good ol boy cops around here are going to have my best interest at heart. Up until July, it was legal for me to be discriminated against based on my gender identity O_O. I'm getting out of this area as quickly as possible.
throwaway512092 6y ago
I implore you to reconsider. I was "supportive" of my friend who came out as trans. I regret this. Like the vast majority of men, he never had a realistic chance of passing, especially since he did not start taking hormones until his mid-twenties. It was a sad delusion, and I was one of many who enabled it. For me, it was the path of least resistance: I didn't want to lose my friend. I wish I had just told him my true feelings, because now he's gone anyway. My friend followed the classic progression. He had childhood trauma and was never successful with girls. He was depressed and anxious and bitter. Slowly, strangers on the internet with anime avatars sold him on the fantasy that transitioning could solve his problems. He fell for the meme. And I have no doubt that it did help, for a while. It gave him a community that constantly reassured him that he was doing the right thing. Coming out as trans was scary, but it made him feel brave and unique. It made him feel like he was finally reasserting some control over his life. He had a decent shot at a normal life. Over time, his dating prospects would have improved. He might have had a family. I know that he would have made a good father. Now that future is gone forever. Because after the initial euphoria fades, grim reality sets in. No one showers you with praise anymore. The honeymoon is over, and the depression and anxiety are still there. There is nothing left to do but chase the dragon: FFS, VFS, SRS...each surgery gets you some attention and support again, but eventually there are no surgeries left to perform, and you have to face the prospect of living in this body for the rest of your life. I'm sorry to be harsh. But I swore that I would never be complicit in this process again. It is a mark of a truly sick society, and our descendants will look upon it with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. I pray that you come to see your situation clearly before it is too late.
- ktm5j 6y ago
  WOW, please don't say shit like this to people. You have no idea what my life has been like and you have no place projecting your single anecdote onto others. I "reconsidered" once already and it was the biggest mistake of my life and wasted the past 10 years where I could have been making progress towards my goals. If you convince even one person to give up on their identity because of this pettiness then you should know what an awful thing you've done. I'm glad you put "supportive" in quotation marks, because based on how many times you've referred to your friend with male gendered pronouns (and other evidence) I doubt very much that you were actually supportive. Sounds like a good thing that your friend has "gone away", which I hope just means that she got far away from you. Also it's disgusting and ignorant for you to imply that childhood trauma causes people to become trans. I was also abused as a kid and I've heard this argument too many times from people who don't know what they're talking about. Queer kids are targeted because they are queer. Because of the shame society puts on being different, they are far less likely to report something. Your causality is backwards.
- ktm5j 6y ago
  Honestly this shit bothers me so much. You're worse than the people who call me a fag, because at least they aren't under some delusion that they're being helpful.
- danbolt 6y ago
  When you talk about having a "decent shot at a normal life", I think you're assuming what's desirable for you is what's desirable for other people. It's hard to imagine someone finding fulfillment in being the lifestyle you had in mind for them if they're finding anguish in it already.
  - ktm5j 6y ago
    Right, having this sort of preconceived notion of what beauty and success should look like is entirely the problem in the first place. I listened to people like this throwaway account and tried to hide from my feelings because I wanted to be "successful" and live the easier life where I would have more opportunity etc.. So I worked hard, got ahead in my career, married a beautiful woman, bought a big house, nice car, blah blah. I was a very "successful" man, but I was totally miserable.
danbolt 6y ago
Hang in there, and be true to yourself.

by ktm5j 6y ago

bstar77 6y ago

I don't understand what compels people to go out of their way to hurt others that just want to live their life as anyone would. That said, if you really think your neighbors are a threat to your well being, you might want to setup some cameras to record any altercations or harassments.

ktm5j 6y ago
I've got cameras.. but these things don't happen in front of my house. I have witnesses, I've thought about pursuing the police option.. but I don't exactly see that route improving my popularity, nor do I expect the good ol boy cops around here are going to have my best interest at heart. Up until July, it was legal for me to be discriminated against based on my gender identity O_O. I'm getting out of this area as quickly as possible.

throwaway512092 6y ago

I implore you to reconsider. I was "supportive" of my friend who came out as trans. I regret this. Like the vast majority of men, he never had a realistic chance of passing, especially since he did not start taking hormones until his mid-twenties. It was a sad delusion, and I was one of many who enabled it. For me, it was the path of least resistance: I didn't want to lose my friend. I wish I had just told him my true feelings, because now he's gone anyway. My friend followed the classic progression. He had childhood trauma and was never successful with girls. He was depressed and anxious and bitter. Slowly, strangers on the internet with anime avatars sold him on the fantasy that transitioning could solve his problems. He fell for the meme. And I have no doubt that it did help, for a while. It gave him a community that constantly reassured him that he was doing the right thing. Coming out as trans was scary, but it made him feel brave and unique. It made him feel like he was finally reasserting some control over his life. He had a decent shot at a normal life. Over time, his dating prospects would have improved. He might have had a family. I know that he would have made a good father. Now that future is gone forever. Because after the initial euphoria fades, grim reality sets in. No one showers you with praise anymore. The honeymoon is over, and the depression and anxiety are still there. There is nothing left to do but chase the dragon: FFS, VFS, SRS...each surgery gets you some attention and support again, but eventually there are no surgeries left to perform, and you have to face the prospect of living in this body for the rest of your life. I'm sorry to be harsh. But I swore that I would never be complicit in this process again. It is a mark of a truly sick society, and our descendants will look upon it with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. I pray that you come to see your situation clearly before it is too late.

ktm5j 6y ago
WOW, please don't say shit like this to people. You have no idea what my life has been like and you have no place projecting your single anecdote onto others. I "reconsidered" once already and it was the biggest mistake of my life and wasted the past 10 years where I could have been making progress towards my goals. If you convince even one person to give up on their identity because of this pettiness then you should know what an awful thing you've done. I'm glad you put "supportive" in quotation marks, because based on how many times you've referred to your friend with male gendered pronouns (and other evidence) I doubt very much that you were actually supportive. Sounds like a good thing that your friend has "gone away", which I hope just means that she got far away from you. Also it's disgusting and ignorant for you to imply that childhood trauma causes people to become trans. I was also abused as a kid and I've heard this argument too many times from people who don't know what they're talking about. Queer kids are targeted because they are queer. Because of the shame society puts on being different, they are far less likely to report something. Your causality is backwards.
ktm5j 6y ago
Honestly this shit bothers me so much. You're worse than the people who call me a fag, because at least they aren't under some delusion that they're being helpful.
danbolt 6y ago
When you talk about having a "decent shot at a normal life", I think you're assuming what's desirable for you is what's desirable for other people. It's hard to imagine someone finding fulfillment in being the lifestyle you had in mind for them if they're finding anguish in it already.
- ktm5j 6y ago
  Right, having this sort of preconceived notion of what beauty and success should look like is entirely the problem in the first place. I listened to people like this throwaway account and tried to hide from my feelings because I wanted to be "successful" and live the easier life where I would have more opportunity etc.. So I worked hard, got ahead in my career, married a beautiful woman, bought a big house, nice car, blah blah. I was a very "successful" man, but I was totally miserable.

danbolt 6y ago

Hang in there, and be true to yourself.