3 ms·

>being rude in return is never a problem Conceptually it is always a problem. This is how communication degrades and descends into chaos.

corty 6y ago
Quite the opposite. Learning can only happen, if there is some kind of feedback. If the other side doesn't notice that something is off in our communication, because I do not signal displeasure about their rudeness by being rude myself, they cannot change their behaviour. Most of the communication in the internet degrades, because information flow is lacking. If you answer politely, you can, when meeting in person, still convey an air of annoyance. You can signal the other person more than just what is being said. In written communication, this doesn't work. All the polite subtleties will be missed. All the cultural cues, like being overly polite or formal to signal distance, don't work because there are just too many cultures meeting, and you can't calibrate your interpretation to the other side like you do "at home". This means that in the internet, you need to be more direct. You need to say what you mean. And if you need to dismiss somebody, you need to be explicitly dismissive. If somebody is rude, you need to be rude and tell them about their rudeness. Being polite for the sake of politeness is misleading, inducing the other side to continue their errorneous behaviour up to the point where things really degrade into an unpleasant situation.
- miku86 6y ago
  Fully agree. From a technical perspective: Ignoring leaves the loop open. I don't know: - if you ignore it on purpose - or if you don't want to solve it or - or if you don't have time or - or if you just missed it ... That's when I would re-send the message or do something else. A Win-Win would be sending a small "won't-fix" or whatever.
  - TillE 6y ago
    > Ignoring leaves the loop open Often that's what you want! Maybe I don't want to reject your bug report outright, maybe I'll get around to it in a few weeks or months or years. Or not, I dunno. I've had my own issues and bugfix PRs on small projects ignored, that's fine. Nobody should ever have the expectation of a response on that kind of project.
    - miku86 6y ago
      The parents are talking about ignoring as a method to (implicitily) say no. Ignoring: for the maintainer: open loop or maybe hidden closed loop (e.g. afraid of confrontation); for the requester: open loop. The intention of saying no is a closed loop. > Nobody should ever have the expectation... Yes, but that's not a pragmatic solution. People sometimes DO have the expectation.

corty 6y ago

Quite the opposite. Learning can only happen, if there is some kind of feedback. If the other side doesn't notice that something is off in our communication, because I do not signal displeasure about their rudeness by being rude myself, they cannot change their behaviour. Most of the communication in the internet degrades, because information flow is lacking. If you answer politely, you can, when meeting in person, still convey an air of annoyance. You can signal the other person more than just what is being said. In written communication, this doesn't work. All the polite subtleties will be missed. All the cultural cues, like being overly polite or formal to signal distance, don't work because there are just too many cultures meeting, and you can't calibrate your interpretation to the other side like you do "at home". This means that in the internet, you need to be more direct. You need to say what you mean. And if you need to dismiss somebody, you need to be explicitly dismissive. If somebody is rude, you need to be rude and tell them about their rudeness. Being polite for the sake of politeness is misleading, inducing the other side to continue their errorneous behaviour up to the point where things really degrade into an unpleasant situation.

miku86 6y ago
Fully agree. From a technical perspective: Ignoring leaves the loop open. I don't know: - if you ignore it on purpose - or if you don't want to solve it or - or if you don't have time or - or if you just missed it ... That's when I would re-send the message or do something else. A Win-Win would be sending a small "won't-fix" or whatever.
- TillE 6y ago
  > Ignoring leaves the loop open Often that's what you want! Maybe I don't want to reject your bug report outright, maybe I'll get around to it in a few weeks or months or years. Or not, I dunno. I've had my own issues and bugfix PRs on small projects ignored, that's fine. Nobody should ever have the expectation of a response on that kind of project.
  - miku86 6y ago
    The parents are talking about ignoring as a method to (implicitily) say no. Ignoring: for the maintainer: open loop or maybe hidden closed loop (e.g. afraid of confrontation); for the requester: open loop. The intention of saying no is a closed loop. > Nobody should ever have the expectation... Yes, but that's not a pragmatic solution. People sometimes DO have the expectation.