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You don't develop empathy - some people have it, some people not so much. We need both, unless we want other countries to come by and explain to us that their

You don't develop empathy - some people have it, some people not so much. We need both, unless we want other countries to come by and explain to us that their un-empathetic people with guns will now be telling us how to live our lives. It's not ability to empathize that's poor online - it's motivation to empathize that's absent. I'd really rather not deal with temper tantrums ever, but if someone throws one and I'm alone with them in a room, I have to deal with it because it could escalate to an even bigger nuisance. If I'm alone with them in an internet chatroom and they can't affect my everyday life, I can express how I really feel - I don't want to deal with your bullshit.

webnrrd2k 6y ago
”You don't develop empathy - some people have it, some people not so much." I don't think this is true, for the most part. A counterexample is buddhists who spend years practicing compassion meditation. It seems to work for them. Lots of religious leaders emphasize compassion, and there seems to be a benefit from it. I know people who pray for others, which is a clearly empathetic act, whether or not I believe in the power of prayer. I don't think that empathy is just a given, as you seem to think. People all over the world, and over vast spans of time have put a lot of effort into developing it.
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zbentley 6y ago
> some people have it, some people not so much. I don't think that's true at all--not for empathy or for many other psychosocial quantities. While a statistically few people exist who really are biologically missing certain psychological abilities (what we usually call mental health disorders), for everyone else it's totally possible to increase/decrease things like empathy, critical thought, fearfulness, optimism, etc. over time. Making those changes consciously is just a) hard and b) usually quite gradual/hard to gauge progress, so as a result the position that "you either innately have it or you don't" becomes quite seductive. This sword cuts both ways: that ability to change is present even for awful or deeply suffering people. However, it's also possible for positive things (empathy, hopefulness and the like) to decrease over time even without conscious effort. This is one of the reasons that I think everyone, if able, should try to get help in tracking their mental state, even if they're healthy: how you do this might differ (therapy, church, regular mental check-ins with a trusted confidant, journaling, meditation, whatever), but it is a really powerful quality of maturity to be able to watch--and to the extent you are able, manage--your "levels" of these personal/psychological qualities
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webnrrd2k 6y ago

”You don't develop empathy - some people have it, some people not so much." I don't think this is true, for the most part. A counterexample is buddhists who spend years practicing compassion meditation. It seems to work for them. Lots of religious leaders emphasize compassion, and there seems to be a benefit from it. I know people who pray for others, which is a clearly empathetic act, whether or not I believe in the power of prayer. I don't think that empathy is just a given, as you seem to think. People all over the world, and over vast spans of time have put a lot of effort into developing it.

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zbentley 6y ago

> some people have it, some people not so much. I don't think that's true at all--not for empathy or for many other psychosocial quantities. While a statistically few people exist who really are biologically missing certain psychological abilities (what we usually call mental health disorders), for everyone else it's totally possible to increase/decrease things like empathy, critical thought, fearfulness, optimism, etc. over time. Making those changes consciously is just a) hard and b) usually quite gradual/hard to gauge progress, so as a result the position that "you either innately have it or you don't" becomes quite seductive. This sword cuts both ways: that ability to change is present even for awful or deeply suffering people. However, it's also possible for positive things (empathy, hopefulness and the like) to decrease over time even without conscious effort. This is one of the reasons that I think everyone, if able, should try to get help in tracking their mental state, even if they're healthy: how you do this might differ (therapy, church, regular mental check-ins with a trusted confidant, journaling, meditation, whatever), but it is a really powerful quality of maturity to be able to watch--and to the extent you are able, manage--your "levels" of these personal/psychological qualities

deleted 6y ago
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