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IMO, for most people empathy is already there. In my own experience what I had to learn about empathy is how to handle it, not how to have it; I already have it

IMO, for most people empathy is already there. In my own experience what I had to learn about empathy is how to handle it, not how to have it; I already have it, it's automatic. The only thing that needs practice is extending it to strangers and enemies/rivals.

sigmaprimus 6y ago
That is an interesting first part of your comment, "how to handle empathy". I too find it quite easy to relate to others by taking their perspective as well as easily being able to imagine how they may be feeling. To the point that my point of view and emotions become influenced by others in a sort of sympathetic reaction. EDIT My limited vocabulary skills made me unaware of the fact that this is known as "compassion" Very similar to how when someone yawns I find myself wanting to and normally yawning also. In most cases I feel this is to my social benifit but at certain times it has been to my detriment. Typically where I have assumed the wrong perspective and feelings, or possibly my own ego has projected my perspective upon others in a sort of pseudo empathy. In my own experience this has been particularly damaging when entering personal relations with sociapathic type individuals.
- throw999666 6y ago
  > In my own experience this has been particularly damaging when entering personal relations with sociapathic type individuals. This is a wise analysis. The temptation to see you want to be there, not what is. One would hope empaths shall avoid sociopaths for their own good.
kayodelycaon 6y ago
Empathy is not automatic for everyone. My emotions are so unreliable and unpredictable that they are useless for understanding other people. All of my social skills are based on logical analysis and a lot of trial and error. I enter every conversation with a goal of what I wish to communicate and how I want the other person to feel. I then attempt to do the proper things to make that happen. Society tells us that this way of handling interpersonal interaction is manipulative and evil. For many people, this is the only way we can function in a society that doesn’t think the way we do.
- throw999666 6y ago
  It is far more common than you think. Nearly half of everyone acts this way. More than 3/4 if you add "to some extent". But many of most of them can be "rationally compassionate".
  - kayodelycaon 6y ago
    Not sure which part of my comment is “more common than I think” but I’m pretty sure 3/4s of the population doesn’t have autism or a similar developmental issue. As a note, I don’t personally have autism, my issue is different, but I share a significant number of traits with those who do.
    - throw999666 6y ago
      The > I then attempt to do the proper things to make that happen. Society tells us that this way of handling interpersonal interaction is manipulative and evil. part
darkerside 6y ago
Ironically, there's a stunning lack of empathy in this comment

sigmaprimus 6y ago

That is an interesting first part of your comment, "how to handle empathy". I too find it quite easy to relate to others by taking their perspective as well as easily being able to imagine how they may be feeling. To the point that my point of view and emotions become influenced by others in a sort of sympathetic reaction. EDIT My limited vocabulary skills made me unaware of the fact that this is known as "compassion" Very similar to how when someone yawns I find myself wanting to and normally yawning also. In most cases I feel this is to my social benifit but at certain times it has been to my detriment. Typically where I have assumed the wrong perspective and feelings, or possibly my own ego has projected my perspective upon others in a sort of pseudo empathy. In my own experience this has been particularly damaging when entering personal relations with sociapathic type individuals.

throw999666 6y ago
> In my own experience this has been particularly damaging when entering personal relations with sociapathic type individuals. This is a wise analysis. The temptation to see you want to be there, not what is. One would hope empaths shall avoid sociopaths for their own good.

kayodelycaon 6y ago

Empathy is not automatic for everyone. My emotions are so unreliable and unpredictable that they are useless for understanding other people. All of my social skills are based on logical analysis and a lot of trial and error. I enter every conversation with a goal of what I wish to communicate and how I want the other person to feel. I then attempt to do the proper things to make that happen. Society tells us that this way of handling interpersonal interaction is manipulative and evil. For many people, this is the only way we can function in a society that doesn’t think the way we do.

throw999666 6y ago
It is far more common than you think. Nearly half of everyone acts this way. More than 3/4 if you add "to some extent". But many of most of them can be "rationally compassionate".
- kayodelycaon 6y ago
  Not sure which part of my comment is “more common than I think” but I’m pretty sure 3/4s of the population doesn’t have autism or a similar developmental issue. As a note, I don’t personally have autism, my issue is different, but I share a significant number of traits with those who do.
  - throw999666 6y ago
    The > I then attempt to do the proper things to make that happen. Society tells us that this way of handling interpersonal interaction is manipulative and evil. part

darkerside 6y ago

Ironically, there's a stunning lack of empathy in this comment