5 ms·

I noticed in this comment that you spent a lot of time talking about yourself and specifically praising yourself and your contributions to this community. Havin

I noticed in this comment that you spent a lot of time talking about yourself and specifically praising yourself and your contributions to this community. Having no other insight other than what you are providing me, it seems like you tend to make yourself the center of discussion and honestly, you come across as high-ego. People like that are often polarizing in communities and tend the shift the conversation from "what" to "who". Perhaps the best practice would be to learn to make your point without personalizing it so much.

DoreenMichele 6y ago
Perhaps the best practice would be to learn to make your point without personalizing it so much. Yes, generally speaking, that's a best practice and one I follow as best I can. Unfortunately, it can't always be followed without hamstringing one's ability to say something meaningful and address more important issues than the tendency of the world to geegaw at me for existing. I wasn't asking for advice. Giving advice in a situation like this one tends to boil down to blaming the victim rather than trying to understand what they are saying about a larger social issue and patterns of behavior involving many people, not just themselves.
- CapitalistCartr 6y ago
  People who are what santoshalper described as "high ego" are usually charismatic, and that makes a difference with everything.
  - DoreenMichele 6y ago
    The probably not obvious at this point context is the comment I replied to was an early reply (the first one?) and is probably assuming "The issue is you are a woman and it must have been a male dominant environment -- just like here on HN where DoreenMichele is a woman in a predominantly male environment." In spite of me promptly replying to say "no, that wasn't the issue," there has been at least one other comment assuming it's about my gender -- which is why I added a link to that comment to my initial reply (in hopes of preventing ten other replies assuming it was about my gender). Sometimes, there are no good answers. I'm going to go try to do other things now. If other people here want to continue to make it about me that my comment in this discussion happens to have been upvoted by other people, I'm not taking responsibility for that. It was my third comment for the day on HN and the other two have been utterly and completely ignored so far. I have no control over other people's upvotes and a really poor ability to predict which of my comments will do well on HN. I spend about half my time going "That was brilliant. Why doesn't anyone appreciate me?" and the other half going "God, why is this being upvoted so much???" and maybe one percent of my time going "Yes, this makes total sense to me how this comment is being received." (Comment not intended to be mathematically accurate nor to cover all scenarios of how I feel about HN reactions to my comments.) 0_o Toodle doo, y'all.
    - robaato 6y ago
      Kudos!
    - gjs278 6y ago
      good lord. apologize for not being able to sum it up.
    - fouc 6y ago
      That's because upvotes aren't a true proxy of how valuable a comment is, it's also a proxy for other things like "does this comment provoke thought or further conversation?"

DoreenMichele 6y ago

Perhaps the best practice would be to learn to make your point without personalizing it so much. Yes, generally speaking, that's a best practice and one I follow as best I can. Unfortunately, it can't always be followed without hamstringing one's ability to say something meaningful and address more important issues than the tendency of the world to geegaw at me for existing. I wasn't asking for advice. Giving advice in a situation like this one tends to boil down to blaming the victim rather than trying to understand what they are saying about a larger social issue and patterns of behavior involving many people, not just themselves.

CapitalistCartr 6y ago
People who are what santoshalper described as "high ego" are usually charismatic, and that makes a difference with everything.
- DoreenMichele 6y ago
  The probably not obvious at this point context is the comment I replied to was an early reply (the first one?) and is probably assuming "The issue is you are a woman and it must have been a male dominant environment -- just like here on HN where DoreenMichele is a woman in a predominantly male environment." In spite of me promptly replying to say "no, that wasn't the issue," there has been at least one other comment assuming it's about my gender -- which is why I added a link to that comment to my initial reply (in hopes of preventing ten other replies assuming it was about my gender). Sometimes, there are no good answers. I'm going to go try to do other things now. If other people here want to continue to make it about me that my comment in this discussion happens to have been upvoted by other people, I'm not taking responsibility for that. It was my third comment for the day on HN and the other two have been utterly and completely ignored so far. I have no control over other people's upvotes and a really poor ability to predict which of my comments will do well on HN. I spend about half my time going "That was brilliant. Why doesn't anyone appreciate me?" and the other half going "God, why is this being upvoted so much???" and maybe one percent of my time going "Yes, this makes total sense to me how this comment is being received." (Comment not intended to be mathematically accurate nor to cover all scenarios of how I feel about HN reactions to my comments.) 0_o Toodle doo, y'all.
  - robaato 6y ago
    Kudos!
  - gjs278 6y ago
    good lord. apologize for not being able to sum it up.
  - fouc 6y ago
    That's because upvotes aren't a true proxy of how valuable a comment is, it's also a proxy for other things like "does this comment provoke thought or further conversation?"