My wife and I follow that and have tried to teach it to our kids. An apology with a ‘but’ isn’t an apology. Two more worth thinking about: Explain vs. excuse.

My wife and I follow that and have tried to teach it to our kids. An apology with a ‘but’ isn’t an apology. Two more worth thinking about: Explain vs. excuse. While your feelings and justifications may explain your bad behavior they do not excuse it. Not your fault, but still your problem. The (wrong) idea that an unexpected circumstance can excuse bad behavior, because it’s not your fault.