4 ms·

It sounds like you have a very different goal. Some of us want a long term relationship. The fact that you've become good at meeting lots of people and starting

It sounds like you have a very different goal. Some of us want a long term relationship. The fact that you've become good at meeting lots of people and starting relationships with them is proof you are not even remotely achieving the same goal. My goal. Meet one great person, be with them for a very long time. Ideally for life but lets say 10 years. At 10yrs I'd have 6 to 7 relationships my entire life. If you tell me, "it's easy. I have a few new relationships a month" you haven't achieved the same goal. I too can achieve the different goal of sleeping with lots of people but I choose not to because that's not my goal.

nickfromseattle 6y ago
The OP could very easily have the same goal, except he is focusing on putting more leads at the top of the funnel. More leads / dates = more chances for long term relationships. If OP dates 100 women to find 1 long term relationship, is it more likely OP will find a better 'match', than you, who may date 1-3 women before converting them into a long term relationship. Shouldn't more opportunities = more selective = better long term fit?
kenneth 6y ago
I don't really have a goal. Relationships with interesting people of whatever form are worth having regardless of the outcome. I've been in serious committed relationships, and single and having flings or just physical fun. Being open minded, meeting a lot of people, and seeing what happens is the best way to meet a long term partner in my opinnion. Every time I'm single, I'm out there meeting new people for everything from one night stands to flings to casual relationships and on occasion you realize that the person you're seeing that started just casually is the one you want to be with seriously. It's what has happened to me a couple times and again recently.
mettamage 6y ago
Hey Greggman3, I had a similar goal. My 2 golden nuggets are: - Find out if you can diagnose with the Big 5 whether you'd be more of a fit with someone (or in my case: the HEXACO model -- a derivative of the Big 5). In my case: I need someone who scores quite high to extremely high on openness. My whole strategy on finding an amazing girlfriend always revolves around this. So far, I'm 4 years in :) - Read up on assorted mating theory (check the wiki, just a few paragraphs) When you have the right approach, finding an amazing partner is actually really easy, albeit there's work to do. For more inspiration see also [1]. What I took away from this talk is not that she went all techy on it, but that she made a very clear strategy on how to find her life partner. It's the best example I could find of that it's quite easy (but hard work), when you have an approach that works for you. Finding an approach that works for you is the toughest part. [1] https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_datin...

nickfromseattle 6y ago

The OP could very easily have the same goal, except he is focusing on putting more leads at the top of the funnel. More leads / dates = more chances for long term relationships. If OP dates 100 women to find 1 long term relationship, is it more likely OP will find a better 'match', than you, who may date 1-3 women before converting them into a long term relationship. Shouldn't more opportunities = more selective = better long term fit?

kenneth 6y ago

I don't really have a goal. Relationships with interesting people of whatever form are worth having regardless of the outcome. I've been in serious committed relationships, and single and having flings or just physical fun. Being open minded, meeting a lot of people, and seeing what happens is the best way to meet a long term partner in my opinnion. Every time I'm single, I'm out there meeting new people for everything from one night stands to flings to casual relationships and on occasion you realize that the person you're seeing that started just casually is the one you want to be with seriously. It's what has happened to me a couple times and again recently.

mettamage 6y ago

Hey Greggman3, I had a similar goal. My 2 golden nuggets are: - Find out if you can diagnose with the Big 5 whether you'd be more of a fit with someone (or in my case: the HEXACO model -- a derivative of the Big 5). In my case: I need someone who scores quite high to extremely high on openness. My whole strategy on finding an amazing girlfriend always revolves around this. So far, I'm 4 years in :) - Read up on assorted mating theory (check the wiki, just a few paragraphs) When you have the right approach, finding an amazing partner is actually really easy, albeit there's work to do. For more inspiration see also [1]. What I took away from this talk is not that she went all techy on it, but that she made a very clear strategy on how to find her life partner. It's the best example I could find of that it's quite easy (but hard work), when you have an approach that works for you. Finding an approach that works for you is the toughest part. [1] https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_datin...