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> But we no longer live in a sane world One way to deal with this type of dysphoria would be to spend some quality time with people who hold views different fr

> But we no longer live in a sane world One way to deal with this type of dysphoria would be to spend some quality time with people who hold views different from the ones you have, and it would be much better if you didn't do that online, but in person - for reasons that I'm sure you understand well, since you are an HN reader. Or, you decide that everyone on the other side of the fence is completely bollocks. But will this make your life better?

vkou 6y ago
I have two friends whose parents have gone down first the anti-vaxx, then the flat earth, and more recently the QAnon rabbit hole. They describe it like losing a family member to a drug addiction, or a cult. Quality time with their own family is no longer a thing that can happen, because how dare the children suggest that basic pandemic precautions be taken, or even think of supporting the vast pedophilic democratic conspiracy. Pray tell, how should they bridge that chasm? This is a serious question. It's well and good and morally smug to suggest that the problem is that 'you don't spend enough time talking to people holding insane beliefs'. The problem is that you can't use reason or empathy to get someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.
- mastazi 6y ago
  I was talking about opposite side of the political spectrum but obviously not insane people. It seems you are grossly mischaracterising people of a certain political orientation which brings me to think that maybe you never really attempted real contact and/or you didn’t try hard. Some of those conspiracies you mentioned don’t even have any link with any specific position on the political spectrum e.g. here in Sydney some politically progressive suburbs are amongst those with the lowest vaccination rates and as you probably know this is also true in many other large cities across the world https://www.smh.com.au/healthcare/rich-suburbs-have-low-immunisation-rates-research-shows-20140326-35iy3.html https://www.smh.com.au/healthcare/rich-suburbs-have-low-immu...
- mastazi 6y ago
  > Pray tell, how should they bridge that chasm? This is a serious question. It's not a serious question, it's a self righteous rhetorical question.
  - vkou 6y ago
    Instead of grousing about the tone of the question, could you answer it? I'd be happy to forward your suggestions to them - they'd appreciate being able to visit their parents every once in a while without being subjected to a firehose of crazy. Yesterday's flavor of that unsolicited firehose was "They called those four states for Trump, and Biden is at 215 now."
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
pydry 6y ago
I've done that. It doesn't really help because there's no effective, scalable antidote to enragement engagement, herd behavior and people who are susceptible to emotional manipulation. It's not like red state people have a monopoly on this behavior, but it seems to be a bit more common among them. Politically we seem to be in some sort of positive feedback loop of anger/fear/suffering -> lashing out -> more anger/fear/suffering. It's scary.
- mastazi 6y ago
  Even in person? What you described is normal online but I would think it wouldn’t happen so often when you are face to face
astura 6y ago
I've had to end several friendships because after a while I couldn't stand the random racist rants that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. One person even shouted they want to "mow those niggers down" because there were people with darker pigmented skin were merely existing out in public and we were driving by them - they were doing absolutely nothing, only breathing. You complain about something sad or tragic happening to you and their response is to suggest it must be the fault of black people, no matter what the problem actually is. I'm not talking about one or two people here either, I'm talking about several people, family and former friends, many who don't know each other and live in different geographic areas. I just can't with that shit anymore. Honestly, the more time I spend with people who have different beliefs than me the more I dislike them.

vkou 6y ago

I have two friends whose parents have gone down first the anti-vaxx, then the flat earth, and more recently the QAnon rabbit hole. They describe it like losing a family member to a drug addiction, or a cult. Quality time with their own family is no longer a thing that can happen, because how dare the children suggest that basic pandemic precautions be taken, or even think of supporting the vast pedophilic democratic conspiracy. Pray tell, how should they bridge that chasm? This is a serious question. It's well and good and morally smug to suggest that the problem is that 'you don't spend enough time talking to people holding insane beliefs'. The problem is that you can't use reason or empathy to get someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.

mastazi 6y ago
I was talking about opposite side of the political spectrum but obviously not insane people. It seems you are grossly mischaracterising people of a certain political orientation which brings me to think that maybe you never really attempted real contact and/or you didn’t try hard. Some of those conspiracies you mentioned don’t even have any link with any specific position on the political spectrum e.g. here in Sydney some politically progressive suburbs are amongst those with the lowest vaccination rates and as you probably know this is also true in many other large cities across the world https://www.smh.com.au/healthcare/rich-suburbs-have-low-immunisation-rates-research-shows-20140326-35iy3.html https://www.smh.com.au/healthcare/rich-suburbs-have-low-immu...
mastazi 6y ago
> Pray tell, how should they bridge that chasm? This is a serious question. It's not a serious question, it's a self righteous rhetorical question.
- vkou 6y ago
  Instead of grousing about the tone of the question, could you answer it? I'd be happy to forward your suggestions to them - they'd appreciate being able to visit their parents every once in a while without being subjected to a firehose of crazy. Yesterday's flavor of that unsolicited firehose was "They called those four states for Trump, and Biden is at 215 now."
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]

pydry 6y ago

I've done that. It doesn't really help because there's no effective, scalable antidote to enragement engagement, herd behavior and people who are susceptible to emotional manipulation. It's not like red state people have a monopoly on this behavior, but it seems to be a bit more common among them. Politically we seem to be in some sort of positive feedback loop of anger/fear/suffering -> lashing out -> more anger/fear/suffering. It's scary.

mastazi 6y ago
Even in person? What you described is normal online but I would think it wouldn’t happen so often when you are face to face

astura 6y ago

I've had to end several friendships because after a while I couldn't stand the random racist rants that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. One person even shouted they want to "mow those niggers down" because there were people with darker pigmented skin were merely existing out in public and we were driving by them - they were doing absolutely nothing, only breathing. You complain about something sad or tragic happening to you and their response is to suggest it must be the fault of black people, no matter what the problem actually is. I'm not talking about one or two people here either, I'm talking about several people, family and former friends, many who don't know each other and live in different geographic areas. I just can't with that shit anymore. Honestly, the more time I spend with people who have different beliefs than me the more I dislike them.