5 ms·

This happened to me multiple times across multiple jobs. The first time, I was laid off with severance--a small mercy. The second time, I was run into the grou

by oriel 6y ago

This happened to me multiple times across multiple jobs. The first time, I was laid off with severance--a small mercy. The second time, I was run into the ground repeatedly as I tried to manage it. That time, I was dropkicked by my manager far over the line, and exited myself. This last job, I left the moment I felt it happening. My struggle now is to not make it a reflex, and a huge amount of my personal and life work has gone into improving communication (aka yowling techniques), and drawing lines in work/life/etc balance to sustain myself. Currently, I'm just avoiding the washing machine entirely.

firecall 6y ago
I'm with you man. It's brutal, and isolating. What is the yowling technique?
- oriel 6y ago
  Just a continuation of the cat-in-washing-machine metaphor. Yowl instead of meow, where a real example would be learning how to have a hard, yet productive, conversation with your manager about issues which are or could lead to burnout.
layoric 6y ago
With you as well, will be avoiding the washing machine for at least 2 months over this Christmas/New year (and very lucky I can afford to) hoping that I can find my motivation again.
- XorNot 6y ago
  Oh hey this is me as well.
  - titanomachy 6y ago
    Maybe we should start a club.
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
- MingLEnF 6y ago
  While I hope it works out for you - I'm wondering what makes you think it's just about lack of motivation?
  - layoric 6y ago
    Motivation is likely not the right word here, in my experience of burn out, depression hits pretty hard and you stop doing things for yourself due to lack of joy/seeing the point in doing anything. "Finding motivation" from finding the joy in things is what I hope to recover. Also starting new habits and not tying so much of myself to my work/current company is something I have to learn better to do and is a goal of mine during my break. When you care deeply about the area you are working in, it is hard to turn off. This combined with a very ambitious company lead me to crash and burn about 18 months ago. Tried to recover with short breaks and while that helped, it kept going back to the same pace and have decided if I want to kick this exhaustion, I need a longer break to form better habits and try to find that joy in what I do again. Whether or not I'll be successful, I don't know, but need to try.
    - MingLEnF 6y ago
      Based on (recent & ongoing) personal experience (which luckily includes not having to work, still getting full salary and therapy/shrink) and learning from that - longer break is obviously good, though likely not enough in longer term. Exactly that combination of "you care deeply about the area you are working in" and "hard to turn off" (even with less of "very ambitious company") - will eventually bring you back to the same situation, unless you change habits/approach/etc. Instead of focusing/pushing for "not tying so much of myself to my work/current company" and "motivation" - perhaps it's better to focus on training yourself when and "how to turn off" and not slowly drift towards old habits? And I think I know what you mean by "depression hits pretty hard and you stop doing things for yourself due to lack of joy/seeing the point in doing anything". Though in my case I realized that it originally started from myself feeling guilt where I was nagging to myself how I can't do whatever fun thing while there was some other work thing/project where I thought I'm behind. So slowly over time that guilt made fun things less fun, and combined with stress started to skew perception of how productive I am, and how long something will/should take ...etc. Eventually that skewed perception spilled from work to personal life - so for those things/projects that were still at least somewhat fun/enjoyable I also started to be annoyed by them taking longer than what I thought they should take.

by oriel 6y ago

firecall 6y ago

I'm with you man. It's brutal, and isolating. What is the yowling technique?

oriel 6y ago
Just a continuation of the cat-in-washing-machine metaphor. Yowl instead of meow, where a real example would be learning how to have a hard, yet productive, conversation with your manager about issues which are or could lead to burnout.

layoric 6y ago

With you as well, will be avoiding the washing machine for at least 2 months over this Christmas/New year (and very lucky I can afford to) hoping that I can find my motivation again.

XorNot 6y ago
Oh hey this is me as well.
- titanomachy 6y ago
  Maybe we should start a club.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
MingLEnF 6y ago
While I hope it works out for you - I'm wondering what makes you think it's just about lack of motivation?
- layoric 6y ago
  Motivation is likely not the right word here, in my experience of burn out, depression hits pretty hard and you stop doing things for yourself due to lack of joy/seeing the point in doing anything. "Finding motivation" from finding the joy in things is what I hope to recover. Also starting new habits and not tying so much of myself to my work/current company is something I have to learn better to do and is a goal of mine during my break. When you care deeply about the area you are working in, it is hard to turn off. This combined with a very ambitious company lead me to crash and burn about 18 months ago. Tried to recover with short breaks and while that helped, it kept going back to the same pace and have decided if I want to kick this exhaustion, I need a longer break to form better habits and try to find that joy in what I do again. Whether or not I'll be successful, I don't know, but need to try.
  - MingLEnF 6y ago
    Based on (recent & ongoing) personal experience (which luckily includes not having to work, still getting full salary and therapy/shrink) and learning from that - longer break is obviously good, though likely not enough in longer term. Exactly that combination of "you care deeply about the area you are working in" and "hard to turn off" (even with less of "very ambitious company") - will eventually bring you back to the same situation, unless you change habits/approach/etc. Instead of focusing/pushing for "not tying so much of myself to my work/current company" and "motivation" - perhaps it's better to focus on training yourself when and "how to turn off" and not slowly drift towards old habits? And I think I know what you mean by "depression hits pretty hard and you stop doing things for yourself due to lack of joy/seeing the point in doing anything". Though in my case I realized that it originally started from myself feeling guilt where I was nagging to myself how I can't do whatever fun thing while there was some other work thing/project where I thought I'm behind. So slowly over time that guilt made fun things less fun, and combined with stress started to skew perception of how productive I am, and how long something will/should take ...etc. Eventually that skewed perception spilled from work to personal life - so for those things/projects that were still at least somewhat fun/enjoyable I also started to be annoyed by them taking longer than what I thought they should take.