6 ms·

Your marriage sounds like it's completely dysfunctional and a living hell. Finances and work balance aside, the bit about the legal trouble is quite the red fl

Your marriage sounds like it's completely dysfunctional and a living hell. Finances and work balance aside, the bit about the legal trouble is quite the red flag. I don't presume to know what the right move is for you, but it sounds like you need to do something. Your situation is not normal. Have you considered couple's therapy? Divorce might also be on the table.

giantg2 6y ago
The legal issue isn't a big deal, but I certainly don't need that work on top of everything else. It was for an off-leash dog. The real problem was that we had a totally incompetent trooper make numerous mistakes on the citation, including a mis-citing it as a more serious charge and lying to a judge. I'm trained and licensed by my state in a quasi law enforcement capacity and even I'm shocked at the dysfunction of the system in this case. (On an unrelated matter the previous judge was arrested on multiple charges). I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving.
- gowld 6y ago
  You might find therapy much cheaper than the cost of cleaning up the mess when this gets worse.
  - giantg2 6y ago
    That depends on it working. If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? The only thing I can think of is the therapist using authority or shame, and that's not allowed. To me it sounds like me paying money for someone to facilitate a conversation. We aren't hostile, so I don't think that's necessary.
    - athenot 6y ago
      Therapy is more than facilitating a conversation. It may help reframe her (and your) point of view on your relationship. And that doesn't have to entail authority or shame; quite the opposite. Check if your insurance covers it, some plans do.
    - omginternets 6y ago
      > If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? Among other things, figure out why your wife isn’t hearing you
- omginternets 6y ago
  > I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving. Do what you want, but none of that makes sense.

giantg2 6y ago

The legal issue isn't a big deal, but I certainly don't need that work on top of everything else. It was for an off-leash dog. The real problem was that we had a totally incompetent trooper make numerous mistakes on the citation, including a mis-citing it as a more serious charge and lying to a judge. I'm trained and licensed by my state in a quasi law enforcement capacity and even I'm shocked at the dysfunction of the system in this case. (On an unrelated matter the previous judge was arrested on multiple charges). I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving.

gowld 6y ago
You might find therapy much cheaper than the cost of cleaning up the mess when this gets worse.
- giantg2 6y ago
  That depends on it working. If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? The only thing I can think of is the therapist using authority or shame, and that's not allowed. To me it sounds like me paying money for someone to facilitate a conversation. We aren't hostile, so I don't think that's necessary.
  - athenot 6y ago
    Therapy is more than facilitating a conversation. It may help reframe her (and your) point of view on your relationship. And that doesn't have to entail authority or shame; quite the opposite. Check if your insurance covers it, some plans do.
  - omginternets 6y ago
    > If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? Among other things, figure out why your wife isn’t hearing you
omginternets 6y ago
> I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving. Do what you want, but none of that makes sense.