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> rather that you're failing to empathize with others Spot on, I don't get it. > It is extremely useful to be able to identify someone interesting in a crowd/

> rather that you're failing to empathize with others Spot on, I don't get it. > It is extremely useful to be able to identify someone interesting in a crowd/party, and it is optimal to spend the majority of your time with people who interest you. The latter part of the sentence, sure, the former part, no. Having a fancy phone/expensive says precisely zero to me about someone's capacity to be interesting. > there are many symbols and flags one might be interested in... And with all that, you've just embedded my sense of bafflement! I have little and the things I care about are ephemeral but not tangible. I guess I'll have to thank you for trying but must concede defeat.

hmmgoesnowyes 6y ago
Not sure if you realize this, but your phrasing/tone makes you appear pompous. Also, just because an iPhone doesn’t give you informational value that isn’t true for others.
tasuki 6y ago
> Having a fancy phone/expensive says precisely zero to me about someone's capacity to be interesting. I disagree. Fancy/expensive phone signals conformity. Shitty old non-smart phone? Now that might be someone interesting!
setr 6y ago
You're too focused on the iphone example. Let's go with this: I'm going to assume you agree that people, in general, assume certain things based on how other's look. We see dundee hat, and assume an australian. We see a star trek shirt, and assume they like star trek. Etc. The singular direction of assumption I think, is obviously true. But this mode of communication has two parties -- you, and the person/people looking at you. Once we realize that other people are assuming things about us, based on what we have, wear and show, then the next step is to realize we can shape their assumptions, by doing two things: 1. Understand what things lead to what assumptions 2. Decide our target assumption, and change what we show to lead to those assumptions So, like a bird with a mating call, we can signal to our peers what interests and goals we have, which they can choose to follow to reach us. And like a bird with a mating call, which has certain qualities and factors governing fitness of the bird, we can be better or worse and producing stronger signals, and a poorly constructed signal can instead work against us -- If I want to be known as a nerd, I better not confuse star trek and star wars (even in honest forgetting) lest I expose a new signal, of a fake nerd. And vice versa, we follow the mating calls to those that interest you. The iphone tells you nothing -- its not a signal you'll follow. For someone else, it might be a valuable signal. But for you, its not, and that's perfectly fine. You listen to other calls. Like perhaps, those that signal a preference towards "practical" thinking and needs.

hmmgoesnowyes 6y ago

Not sure if you realize this, but your phrasing/tone makes you appear pompous. Also, just because an iPhone doesn’t give you informational value that isn’t true for others.

tasuki 6y ago

> Having a fancy phone/expensive says precisely zero to me about someone's capacity to be interesting. I disagree. Fancy/expensive phone signals conformity. Shitty old non-smart phone? Now that might be someone interesting!

setr 6y ago

You're too focused on the iphone example. Let's go with this: I'm going to assume you agree that people, in general, assume certain things based on how other's look. We see dundee hat, and assume an australian. We see a star trek shirt, and assume they like star trek. Etc. The singular direction of assumption I think, is obviously true. But this mode of communication has two parties -- you, and the person/people looking at you. Once we realize that other people are assuming things about us, based on what we have, wear and show, then the next step is to realize we can shape their assumptions, by doing two things: 1. Understand what things lead to what assumptions 2. Decide our target assumption, and change what we show to lead to those assumptions So, like a bird with a mating call, we can signal to our peers what interests and goals we have, which they can choose to follow to reach us. And like a bird with a mating call, which has certain qualities and factors governing fitness of the bird, we can be better or worse and producing stronger signals, and a poorly constructed signal can instead work against us -- If I want to be known as a nerd, I better not confuse star trek and star wars (even in honest forgetting) lest I expose a new signal, of a fake nerd. And vice versa, we follow the mating calls to those that interest you. The iphone tells you nothing -- its not a signal you'll follow. For someone else, it might be a valuable signal. But for you, its not, and that's perfectly fine. You listen to other calls. Like perhaps, those that signal a preference towards "practical" thinking and needs.