7 ms·

That's a very limited idea of attractiveness you have. For instance, you could say the same thing about trans people, and that might be true among mainstream st

That's a very limited idea of attractiveness you have. For instance, you could say the same thing about trans people, and that might be true among mainstream straight people, but personally I found dating far easier once I transitioned, and find trans people hotter. Also, disabled people often date each other, which comes with some downsides (like not having an able-bodied partner to be a caretaker), but means you're shielded from that icky stigma and you don't have a partner who's ashamed of you.

crankyoldcrank 6y ago
My wife has multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed while we were dating. It's extremely insulting that you think I, her abled partner, would ever be ashamed of that fact. Fuck you very much.
- Talanes 6y ago
  Please assume good intent. I don't believe the poster jumping in to attack the (ridiculous) idea that disabled people are inherently less attractive is trying to say that being ashamed of a disabled partner is inevitable or excusable.
  - sterlind 6y ago
    Yes, thank you. I was speaking from experience: I have a disability myself (though I don't look it), so I've felt the stigma first-hand, but I don't think it's universal. I've had partners who were ashamed of me before. My current partner isn't but still gets grossed out when my joints dislocate, though they know it's bad and try to help me when that happens. It varies.
zamadatix 6y ago
I'm glad things worked for you and I think people can always find someone to be with regardless of who they are but let's be honest, is it "a very limited idea of attractiveness" the GP has or are you just sidestepping "Let's not suggest that having shriveled up wheelchair legs is a boon in the dating market."? Yes it's a horrible thing, yes it's horrible to tweet about... but you know what, it's also horrible to try to act like it's just not a hinderance and this kind of thing needs to be called out. It's great, in fact it's easier! No, it's not. It's significantly harder life. Nobody thinks "man, if I just woke up tomorrow without the use of the lower half of my body my dating life would be so much easier" because it wouldn't be easier, it'd be a great hurdle. In fact nearly everything would be harder. Again this doesn't mean you can't find happiness or that nobody will ever like you for you, I think that's literally impossible in this world, but this is unfortunately sure as hell not an easy path to either of those things. <- this also means you don't have to be in the same situation to not be "ashamed" of your partner, though some may certainly be it's not a requirement of how society operates. I'm not sure you can make the jump "you could say the same thing about trans people" (more power to you) as the alternative to being or liking trans people is lying to yourself about who you like while the alternative to being disabled is being abled. One is all about who you are attracted to and who's attracted to you, the other is about being able or unable to use part of your body. Of course being true about the former leads to greater success in dating, the latter seems a bit of a stretch.

crankyoldcrank 6y ago

My wife has multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed while we were dating. It's extremely insulting that you think I, her abled partner, would ever be ashamed of that fact. Fuck you very much.

Talanes 6y ago
Please assume good intent. I don't believe the poster jumping in to attack the (ridiculous) idea that disabled people are inherently less attractive is trying to say that being ashamed of a disabled partner is inevitable or excusable.
- sterlind 6y ago
  Yes, thank you. I was speaking from experience: I have a disability myself (though I don't look it), so I've felt the stigma first-hand, but I don't think it's universal. I've had partners who were ashamed of me before. My current partner isn't but still gets grossed out when my joints dislocate, though they know it's bad and try to help me when that happens. It varies.

zamadatix 6y ago

I'm glad things worked for you and I think people can always find someone to be with regardless of who they are but let's be honest, is it "a very limited idea of attractiveness" the GP has or are you just sidestepping "Let's not suggest that having shriveled up wheelchair legs is a boon in the dating market."? Yes it's a horrible thing, yes it's horrible to tweet about... but you know what, it's also horrible to try to act like it's just not a hinderance and this kind of thing needs to be called out. It's great, in fact it's easier! No, it's not. It's significantly harder life. Nobody thinks "man, if I just woke up tomorrow without the use of the lower half of my body my dating life would be so much easier" because it wouldn't be easier, it'd be a great hurdle. In fact nearly everything would be harder. Again this doesn't mean you can't find happiness or that nobody will ever like you for you, I think that's literally impossible in this world, but this is unfortunately sure as hell not an easy path to either of those things. <- this also means you don't have to be in the same situation to not be "ashamed" of your partner, though some may certainly be it's not a requirement of how society operates. I'm not sure you can make the jump "you could say the same thing about trans people" (more power to you) as the alternative to being or liking trans people is lying to yourself about who you like while the alternative to being disabled is being abled. One is all about who you are attracted to and who's attracted to you, the other is about being able or unable to use part of your body. Of course being true about the former leads to greater success in dating, the latter seems a bit of a stretch.