3 ms·

Not all the time, there are enough examples of "I never wanted this life for you" in fiction that I can't believe it's entirely made up.

• toyg 6y ago
  There are just as many examples of “I just wanted you to inherit the family business / uphold our traditional mores / have a simple life like we do”. It’s a very contentious topic and in many ways it was not even considered on a large scale until the 1960s, the default assumption being that someone born in a family of X should accept he is a X too, and the duty of their family was to raise them to be that X. This was even enforced legally, with aristocracy, slavery, castes, etc. Personal wishes and individual psychological wellbeing were just not a thing. Still today, the degree of conformity enforced on kids, that you see in many cultures, makes it extremely difficult to find a common definition of “good parenting”. Would a “good parent” force you to fast from sunrise to sunset for a month, or encourage you to join an organization that requires permanent celibacy? What about pushing you to prominently display your faith in everyday situations, despite the real possibility of physical violence against you? Or inviting you to mate inside the same ethnic community as your parents, “to keep traditions alive”? Or even just pushing you to follow fitness regimes, because “healthy”, even though you hate sports and exercise? Is that good or bad? These are very big questions and I don’t think we’re anywhere near finding common answers for them.