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It is a lot of responsibility indeed but it comes with benefits too. Parenting is an experience you can skip on, but you can’t know what you’re missing until yo

It is a lot of responsibility indeed but it comes with benefits too. Parenting is an experience you can skip on, but you can’t know what you’re missing until you go through it. Lots of people change their perspective once they become parents and few regret it - it’s like reaching a new stage in development/life.

k__ 6y ago
Yes, this is true. At least my sister is up and about to get at least four kids, so maybe I can get a partial taste, haha.
- marakeesh 6y ago
  That's how it started for me. Then, my child came along and was already warmed up to that idea and everything else just happened naturally. Yes, this is an experience that I would not want to skip on having but if you asked me before whether I am ready to make this step I would probably give you the answer: "I'm not sure" and I completely understand people who hesitate starting family. I've also changed after becoming a parent.
ck425 6y ago
I do wonder how many actually regret it. It's socially unacceptable to regret having kids, plus it would be awful on the kids if you openly regretted it. I'd expect that the numbers who do regret it are probably higher than those who admit it, but how high I've no idea.
- mirsadm 6y ago
  It's not a straight forward answer though. It changes day to day. Some days are very tough but others are amazing.
- Angostura 6y ago
  I don't think it's all-or-nothing issue. As a stay at home dad, there were times when I was so tired and depressed that I was on the verge of tears taking my toddlers to the playground. Did I regret having them? If you asked me in that 5 minutes - I my have said yes. It complicates your life, makes things harder introduces additional stress into what could otherwise be a simple, uncomplicated life. It makes you worry more about - say - the outcome of elections. Overall though? I share a house with two teenagers who I love deeply, who are lots of fun and I can't imagine being without.
  - ck425 6y ago
    That's a very good point. I wonder how any regrets of not having them work? Not having kids strikes me as far easier to consistently be at peace with.
- Pet_Ant 6y ago
  Even if they are a wonderful human being it basically limits your own choices and potential. If you had moved to a dead-end city with your partner and then break-up... it can be soul killing. ...for a friend. That's it.
throwaway12319 6y ago
> ... change their perspective once they become parents and few regret it Citation needed. Psychological research clearly shows otherwise. Plenty of parents show symptoms of resentfulness, guilt and depression.
everdrive 6y ago
This is my big fear. What if I don't switch, and I really did, deeply regret it? There's no way out. It seems like very serious commitment is necessary.
- srtjstjsj 6y ago
  You can buy out your obligations with money.
toyg 6y ago
Plenty regret it, but they will never admit it so you’ll never know for sure - not unlike voting for certain candidates. And it gets re-evaluated with time. I did regret it for some time. I still regret it many, many times in a day. Other times the kids save my life and it all looks somewhat worth it. But I just don’t see it as some mystical experience, on balance. It’s probably different for mothers though.

k__ 6y ago

Yes, this is true. At least my sister is up and about to get at least four kids, so maybe I can get a partial taste, haha.

marakeesh 6y ago
That's how it started for me. Then, my child came along and was already warmed up to that idea and everything else just happened naturally. Yes, this is an experience that I would not want to skip on having but if you asked me before whether I am ready to make this step I would probably give you the answer: "I'm not sure" and I completely understand people who hesitate starting family. I've also changed after becoming a parent.

ck425 6y ago

I do wonder how many actually regret it. It's socially unacceptable to regret having kids, plus it would be awful on the kids if you openly regretted it. I'd expect that the numbers who do regret it are probably higher than those who admit it, but how high I've no idea.

mirsadm 6y ago
It's not a straight forward answer though. It changes day to day. Some days are very tough but others are amazing.
Angostura 6y ago
I don't think it's all-or-nothing issue. As a stay at home dad, there were times when I was so tired and depressed that I was on the verge of tears taking my toddlers to the playground. Did I regret having them? If you asked me in that 5 minutes - I my have said yes. It complicates your life, makes things harder introduces additional stress into what could otherwise be a simple, uncomplicated life. It makes you worry more about - say - the outcome of elections. Overall though? I share a house with two teenagers who I love deeply, who are lots of fun and I can't imagine being without.
- ck425 6y ago
  That's a very good point. I wonder how any regrets of not having them work? Not having kids strikes me as far easier to consistently be at peace with.
Pet_Ant 6y ago
Even if they are a wonderful human being it basically limits your own choices and potential. If you had moved to a dead-end city with your partner and then break-up... it can be soul killing. ...for a friend. That's it.

throwaway12319 6y ago

> ... change their perspective once they become parents and few regret it Citation needed. Psychological research clearly shows otherwise. Plenty of parents show symptoms of resentfulness, guilt and depression.

everdrive 6y ago

This is my big fear. What if I don't switch, and I really did, deeply regret it? There's no way out. It seems like very serious commitment is necessary.

srtjstjsj 6y ago
You can buy out your obligations with money.

toyg 6y ago

Plenty regret it, but they will never admit it so you’ll never know for sure - not unlike voting for certain candidates. And it gets re-evaluated with time. I did regret it for some time. I still regret it many, many times in a day. Other times the kids save my life and it all looks somewhat worth it. But I just don’t see it as some mystical experience, on balance. It’s probably different for mothers though.