3 ms·

> In my opinion, this isn't any different than an arranged marriage, so I feel like your fear/discomfort makes little sense here. But many people object to arr

> In my opinion, this isn't any different than an arranged marriage, so I feel like your fear/discomfort makes little sense here. But many people object to arranged marriages. I actually think most people in the world would object to arranged marriages.

yipbub 6y ago
People object to arranged marriages because people are often force or pressured into them. Here, the participants set the terms.
anonytrary 6y ago
India? Also, you'd be surprised how common arranged situations are in even the US. Forgetting about Tinder, et al -- what about friends setting up friends? In the US matchmaking is more subtle, but it is extremely common. It's a matter of culture and norms.
toyg 6y ago
Meh, arranged marriages used to be the norm everywhere for thousands of years. In many ways, the assumption that a marriage must be out of reciprocal love was established by Romantic writers barely 200 years ago; most tales from before tend to end up with “passionate lovers” meeting a tragic fate, to reinforce the societal message that infatuation is wrong. In traditional rural societies, the brutal realities of survival came first.
- cousin_it 6y ago
  As an aside, I still have no idea how these books ended up making romantic love fashionable. The central example, Werther, is about a man who tries to get a woman away from her husband (while she's having none of it) and then kills himself. And the authorial voice clearly treats Werther as sad and misguided. Why did people take so strongly to it?
  - watwut 6y ago
    The word "romantic" changed meaning. Romantic period of literature is not same thing as romance a genre. The romantic period was about strong emotions in general, solitude, beauty of nature and host of other love unrelated things. Suicide implies stronger emotions then kiss. Love or passion was just one thing. Romance as genre is something different.

yipbub 6y ago

People object to arranged marriages because people are often force or pressured into them. Here, the participants set the terms.

anonytrary 6y ago

India? Also, you'd be surprised how common arranged situations are in even the US. Forgetting about Tinder, et al -- what about friends setting up friends? In the US matchmaking is more subtle, but it is extremely common. It's a matter of culture and norms.

toyg 6y ago

Meh, arranged marriages used to be the norm everywhere for thousands of years. In many ways, the assumption that a marriage must be out of reciprocal love was established by Romantic writers barely 200 years ago; most tales from before tend to end up with “passionate lovers” meeting a tragic fate, to reinforce the societal message that infatuation is wrong. In traditional rural societies, the brutal realities of survival came first.

cousin_it 6y ago
As an aside, I still have no idea how these books ended up making romantic love fashionable. The central example, Werther, is about a man who tries to get a woman away from her husband (while she's having none of it) and then kills himself. And the authorial voice clearly treats Werther as sad and misguided. Why did people take so strongly to it?
- watwut 6y ago
  The word "romantic" changed meaning. Romantic period of literature is not same thing as romance a genre. The romantic period was about strong emotions in general, solitude, beauty of nature and host of other love unrelated things. Suicide implies stronger emotions then kiss. Love or passion was just one thing. Romance as genre is something different.