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The article describes “Platonic” co-parenting in which the parents have sex with each other repeatedly on an ongoing basis, conceive a child, bear it to term, a

The article describes “Platonic” co-parenting in which the parents have sex with each other repeatedly on an ongoing basis, conceive a child, bear it to term, and parent together. I don’t know what’s “platonic” here. Sounds like regular ass family formation to me. I must have missed the point.

k__ 6y ago
I think, the "regular ass family formation" would include the parents having sex even after the got all the children they want.
AstralStorm 6y ago
The difference here is it works a lot more like an arranged marriage. (Except it's arranged by first parties.) It's not usually based on hormones and propinquity. The rise of it is probably caused by people living farther away and working overly long hours, so the standard random dating no longer works.
- watermelon59 6y ago
  I would love it if that became more of a thing - arranged marriages organized by first parties. Personally I don't need the flirting and dating and romance and all that stuff. What I need is someone who shares my values and is willing to enter into a marriage as a social contract. Being married has a ton of personal and social benefits, and having a spouse who brings in as much income as you works like an insurance policy of sorts in a number of life situations (e.g. long-term job loss). Obviously there needs to be chemistry if both parties are interested in a monogamic sexual relationship being part of their marriage. But if both parties are willing to dispense with all the dating rituals, that can be determined in seconds.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - tartoran 6y ago
    During those ‘dating rituals’ people actually get to know eachother a bit before comitting to having/raising a child together. I find it a bit odd to not spend some time together before taking this decision.
    - watermelon59 6y ago
      Yeah, that's true. But there's a difference between typical dating and being upfront about what you want. Usually people look for "the spark" and all that when dating.
  - watwut 6y ago
    The whole point of dating is to figure out whether the other person shares your values, is generally compatible and want similar marriage style as you.
    - watermelon59 6y ago
      But it’s full of little games. And a lot of people date for fun, not necessarily because they’re looking for someone to marry.
- bryanrasmussen 6y ago
  mature adults rationally choosing a partner and marrying not for 'love' that undefinable thing we see in movies but for the actual benefits that marriage offers. Damn, how do I turn this into an article and get my money! I sort of envision a writer's table where we people brainstorm ways of repackaging pretty obvious things in ways that sound new and exciting so as to get paid. Maybe this is a business model waiting to happen. on edit: fixed error
- adamjb 6y ago
  I wonder if this is an echo of (pre-industrial? pre-Reformation?) historical norms?
- pizza234 6y ago
  > It's not usually based on hormones and propinquity. By the time a couple that was formed under regular circumstances (whatever they are), decides to have children (1/2 years after the beginning of a relationship), hormones are long gone. And propinquity is not a disadvantage; at least people know each other. Deciding to have children after spending a weekend together ("it felt like a date") is foolish, and a recipe for a disaster, in my opinion. The article (and overall, the idea) is also dangerously ambiguous about the logistics: - the decision to have a child with someone [...] in most cases, choose not to live with In real world, this equates to parents choosing other partners in the mid/long term. This is therefore radically different than an arranged marriage. I'd define this as an arranged patchwork family. Whether this is better or not than an arranged marriage (in an extended sense, e.g. two people staying together only because of the children), it's pretty much impossible to say.
ThePadawan 6y ago
> I must have missed the point. Affection?
pwdisswordfish4 6y ago
‘Platonic’ doesn’t mean ‘celibate’. It means ‘pure, idealised, undistorted, uncontaminated, archetypal’. Which is a pretty fitting description of these people’s relationships to each other: as co-parents and pretty much nothing else.
- howlgarnish 6y ago
  That's the dictionary definition, yes, but when it comes to male-female relationships the term 'platonic' generally means 'not sexual'.
  - Spivak 6y ago
    I think non-romantic is a more accurate description. Friends with benefits is still a platonic relationship.
tobylane 6y ago
Natural conception is one of three choices and the matching sites do kick men out for insisting on this one. Others use turkey basters.
- bartvk 6y ago
  I didn't know what "turkey baster" meant, but Urban Dictionary has a definition: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Turkey%20Baster https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Turkey%20Bas...
  - astura 6y ago
    "Turkey baster" is a kitchen tool used to transfer small amounts of liquid. https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-5900-Nylon-Baster/dp/B000HEIUBU https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-5900-Nylon-Baster/dp/B000HEIUB... Obviously it can have other non-kitchen uses (transferring semen).
    - bartvk 6y ago
      So they literally use a kitchen tool? I'm not a native speaker, so I assumed the quotes meant that it's used figuratively.
refurb 6y ago
I had the same thought. Why use the word “platonic” when it doesn’t really apply to this situation? And just like most things on the internet, it’s not like this is a new phenomenon. People have been marrying and having kids for centuries without being “in love”.

k__ 6y ago

I think, the "regular ass family formation" would include the parents having sex even after the got all the children they want.

AstralStorm 6y ago

The difference here is it works a lot more like an arranged marriage. (Except it's arranged by first parties.) It's not usually based on hormones and propinquity. The rise of it is probably caused by people living farther away and working overly long hours, so the standard random dating no longer works.

watermelon59 6y ago
I would love it if that became more of a thing - arranged marriages organized by first parties. Personally I don't need the flirting and dating and romance and all that stuff. What I need is someone who shares my values and is willing to enter into a marriage as a social contract. Being married has a ton of personal and social benefits, and having a spouse who brings in as much income as you works like an insurance policy of sorts in a number of life situations (e.g. long-term job loss). Obviously there needs to be chemistry if both parties are interested in a monogamic sexual relationship being part of their marriage. But if both parties are willing to dispense with all the dating rituals, that can be determined in seconds.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- tartoran 6y ago
  During those ‘dating rituals’ people actually get to know eachother a bit before comitting to having/raising a child together. I find it a bit odd to not spend some time together before taking this decision.
  - watermelon59 6y ago
    Yeah, that's true. But there's a difference between typical dating and being upfront about what you want. Usually people look for "the spark" and all that when dating.
- watwut 6y ago
  The whole point of dating is to figure out whether the other person shares your values, is generally compatible and want similar marriage style as you.
  - watermelon59 6y ago
    But it’s full of little games. And a lot of people date for fun, not necessarily because they’re looking for someone to marry.
bryanrasmussen 6y ago
mature adults rationally choosing a partner and marrying not for 'love' that undefinable thing we see in movies but for the actual benefits that marriage offers. Damn, how do I turn this into an article and get my money! I sort of envision a writer's table where we people brainstorm ways of repackaging pretty obvious things in ways that sound new and exciting so as to get paid. Maybe this is a business model waiting to happen. on edit: fixed error
adamjb 6y ago
I wonder if this is an echo of (pre-industrial? pre-Reformation?) historical norms?
pizza234 6y ago
> It's not usually based on hormones and propinquity. By the time a couple that was formed under regular circumstances (whatever they are), decides to have children (1/2 years after the beginning of a relationship), hormones are long gone. And propinquity is not a disadvantage; at least people know each other. Deciding to have children after spending a weekend together ("it felt like a date") is foolish, and a recipe for a disaster, in my opinion. The article (and overall, the idea) is also dangerously ambiguous about the logistics: - the decision to have a child with someone [...] in most cases, choose not to live with In real world, this equates to parents choosing other partners in the mid/long term. This is therefore radically different than an arranged marriage. I'd define this as an arranged patchwork family. Whether this is better or not than an arranged marriage (in an extended sense, e.g. two people staying together only because of the children), it's pretty much impossible to say.

ThePadawan 6y ago

> I must have missed the point. Affection?

pwdisswordfish4 6y ago

‘Platonic’ doesn’t mean ‘celibate’. It means ‘pure, idealised, undistorted, uncontaminated, archetypal’. Which is a pretty fitting description of these people’s relationships to each other: as co-parents and pretty much nothing else.

howlgarnish 6y ago
That's the dictionary definition, yes, but when it comes to male-female relationships the term 'platonic' generally means 'not sexual'.
- Spivak 6y ago
  I think non-romantic is a more accurate description. Friends with benefits is still a platonic relationship.

tobylane 6y ago

Natural conception is one of three choices and the matching sites do kick men out for insisting on this one. Others use turkey basters.

bartvk 6y ago
I didn't know what "turkey baster" meant, but Urban Dictionary has a definition: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Turkey%20Baster https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Turkey%20Bas...
- astura 6y ago
  "Turkey baster" is a kitchen tool used to transfer small amounts of liquid. https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-5900-Nylon-Baster/dp/B000HEIUBU https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-5900-Nylon-Baster/dp/B000HEIUB... Obviously it can have other non-kitchen uses (transferring semen).
  - bartvk 6y ago
    So they literally use a kitchen tool? I'm not a native speaker, so I assumed the quotes meant that it's used figuratively.

refurb 6y ago

I had the same thought. Why use the word “platonic” when it doesn’t really apply to this situation? And just like most things on the internet, it’s not like this is a new phenomenon. People have been marrying and having kids for centuries without being “in love”.