4 ms·

I appreciate your candor, but you're missing the point. No source of funding, no school. It's not like I need to "snap" out of anything. I want to go back to s

I appreciate your candor, but you're missing the point. No source of funding, no school. It's not like I need to "snap" out of anything. I want to go back to school. As I've already said I've spoken with a financial aid advisor, things are grim and don't seem plausible failing a windfall. My car is mine, I'm not an idiot, I'm just poor. You're quite right, problems don't fix themselves, they also aren't fixed because you one says to fix them. As for girlfriend/pregnant whatever, I'm not having kids. This isn't some post-adolescent, "lol I hate kids". It's just...I'm not infertile, it's just that the idea of dumping as much time and money into kids as is required to do a half-decent job or better is a bit repulsive to me. To illustrate my point, I decided not to pursue a fairly cute girl recently because she would cut into my coding and learning time. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my work and my intellectual pursuits. I know you got a couple "hear hears" for your bluntness but I'd appreciate it if your tone reflected the generally friendlier and quieter atmosphere here as opposed to reddit/digg. Frankly, this sort of uninformed rudeness to someone you don't know is the sort of thing I'd expect on rowdier places like the aforementioned, and it saddens me to run into it here for the first time personally.

gm 18y ago
Dude, sorry for the tone, but yes, you need to snap out of it. I don't feel particularly sorry for you because I was faced with the exact same situation as you, and I ended up in some pretty lofty places. All under my own power, so it's not impossible. No source of funding? Go to a fast food place and get one. You say you code in C#. That's good, it's a technology people expect to pay money for. Anyway, see my other post about how I did it, just so you have an example.
run4yourlives 18y ago
To illustrate my point, I decided not to pursue a fairly cute girl recently because she would cut into my coding and learning time. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my work and my intellectual pursuits. This may be unpopular on this forum, but in 10-15 years, you should expect your views to change 180 degrees. For that reason, it would be unwise for you to focus so narrowly on your "interests". You are young, even though you may not feel so, and are still in the process of growing. Allow yourself to do so. After reading a few of your comments in addition to your post, I'm going to side with the crowd that thinks you are whining. That isn't a personal attack, but an understanding of where you are based on what you've written and where I've been in the past. There are many poor college kids. In fact, I'd say 75% of them can't really afford to go to the school they go to. Yet, there they are. While not having a millionaire for a father makes life more difficult to us all, it shouldn't stop you from what you want to do. Yes, getting a PT job, taking out a big loan and possibly going to a cheaper school will both be tough and a compromise from the ideal. So fucking what? 99% of life is compromise. What matters is that you continue to move in your intended direction. What you can't get today, ensure you can achieve tomorrow. I don't know you, but what I read from you is fear. Fear of failing, and fear of disappointment. Your excuses are only justifications that you use to avoid admitting that you are afraid to act. This happens to everyone, and is certainly common around your age - transitioning from child to adult. Do not allow this fear to control your life, or you will never accomplish anything. You will die lonely, unloved and incomplete. Your situation matters little. The obstacles in front of you are stagnant. What matters is what you choose to do. You are the part of the equation that is flexible and fluid. Don't waste that. PS - Go ask that girl out. You will look back on it later and wonder what if, so save yourself the heartache by just finding out now.
- alnayyir 18y ago
  No heartache, if she'd been interesting enough to pursue for the sake of long-term, I wouldn't have minded losing the time. The problem is that the kind of girl who interests me intellectually and understands me (outside of my programming interests) is supremely rare. I've mostly accepted that either chance will favor me and I'll run into the "girl", or I'll focus on my work. I don't really care. It doesn't help that I refuse to have kids, that narrows down my options as well.
  - run4yourlives 18y ago
    You're 20. Of course you don't want to have kids. Very few people at 20 want kids. I certainly didn't. In fact, at 26, I was settled on being single for the rest of my life. I'm now 33, married, and have a 1 year old son. I laugh at my past self and understand how naive I was. I'm not suggesting you'll be the same, just that you pay attention to the fact that you are seeing the world through the eyes of a 20 year old. :-) You won't run into "the girl" though if you are standing still.

gm 18y ago

Dude, sorry for the tone, but yes, you need to snap out of it. I don't feel particularly sorry for you because I was faced with the exact same situation as you, and I ended up in some pretty lofty places. All under my own power, so it's not impossible. No source of funding? Go to a fast food place and get one. You say you code in C#. That's good, it's a technology people expect to pay money for. Anyway, see my other post about how I did it, just so you have an example.

run4yourlives 18y ago

To illustrate my point, I decided not to pursue a fairly cute girl recently because she would cut into my coding and learning time. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my work and my intellectual pursuits. This may be unpopular on this forum, but in 10-15 years, you should expect your views to change 180 degrees. For that reason, it would be unwise for you to focus so narrowly on your "interests". You are young, even though you may not feel so, and are still in the process of growing. Allow yourself to do so. After reading a few of your comments in addition to your post, I'm going to side with the crowd that thinks you are whining. That isn't a personal attack, but an understanding of where you are based on what you've written and where I've been in the past. There are many poor college kids. In fact, I'd say 75% of them can't really afford to go to the school they go to. Yet, there they are. While not having a millionaire for a father makes life more difficult to us all, it shouldn't stop you from what you want to do. Yes, getting a PT job, taking out a big loan and possibly going to a cheaper school will both be tough and a compromise from the ideal. So fucking what? 99% of life is compromise. What matters is that you continue to move in your intended direction. What you can't get today, ensure you can achieve tomorrow. I don't know you, but what I read from you is fear. Fear of failing, and fear of disappointment. Your excuses are only justifications that you use to avoid admitting that you are afraid to act. This happens to everyone, and is certainly common around your age - transitioning from child to adult. Do not allow this fear to control your life, or you will never accomplish anything. You will die lonely, unloved and incomplete. Your situation matters little. The obstacles in front of you are stagnant. What matters is what you choose to do. You are the part of the equation that is flexible and fluid. Don't waste that. PS - Go ask that girl out. You will look back on it later and wonder what if, so save yourself the heartache by just finding out now.

alnayyir 18y ago
No heartache, if she'd been interesting enough to pursue for the sake of long-term, I wouldn't have minded losing the time. The problem is that the kind of girl who interests me intellectually and understands me (outside of my programming interests) is supremely rare. I've mostly accepted that either chance will favor me and I'll run into the "girl", or I'll focus on my work. I don't really care. It doesn't help that I refuse to have kids, that narrows down my options as well.
- run4yourlives 18y ago
  You're 20. Of course you don't want to have kids. Very few people at 20 want kids. I certainly didn't. In fact, at 26, I was settled on being single for the rest of my life. I'm now 33, married, and have a 1 year old son. I laugh at my past self and understand how naive I was. I'm not suggesting you'll be the same, just that you pay attention to the fact that you are seeing the world through the eyes of a 20 year old. :-) You won't run into "the girl" though if you are standing still.