In my opinion the best way to handle that is to give them what they want in a way that suits you (don't shit on any of your coworkers, tell them that they're do

In my opinion the best way to handle that is to give them what they want in a way that suits you (don't shit on any of your coworkers, tell them that they're doing just fine, and that you're leaving for your own personal reasons) and move on with your life. You're being put in an unreasonable and dishonest situation, and I've read that honesty is providing the information the other party deserves.