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Please consider trying this: Paragraph 1: Topic paragraph, introduce topic and question. Paragraph 2: Summarize argument. Paragraphs 3-n: Topic/assertion sen
by projektfu 6y ago
Please consider trying this:
Paragraph 1: Topic paragraph, introduce topic and question.
Paragraph 2: Summarize argument.
Paragraphs 3-n: Topic/assertion sentence. Support assertion/argument. Last sentence may summarize support. These paragraphs should follow the overall structure but sometimes you will need more than one paragraph to support something you suggested in the second paragraph.
Paragraph n+1: Review conclusion and some salient corollaries.
Paragraphs n+m: Discussion of implications of conclusion.
I read through paragraph after paragraph and I have no idea what your argument was, where it was going. If you have lots of single-sentence paragraphs, you're probably frustrating and confusing your reader.
- lambdatronics 6y agoThe blog's style appears deliberate. I doubt you and I are his target audience, though. Check out this exchange: https://www.reddit.com/r/juststart/comments/jl02ba/useless_inventions_is_your_product_a_solution_in/ https://www.reddit.com/r/juststart/comments/jl02ba/useless_i...
- rjyoungling 6y agohmm.. that person came from a place of bad faith. Clearly, I do not shy away from productive discourse as long as it's done respectfully. But if your first comment immediately starts with name calling...
- rjyoungling 6y agoThanks projektfu! That's extremely helpful feedback. I'll try to use it to improve future work.
- bullen 6y agoI agree with projektfu, there are lots of good ideas that don't sum up to a punchline, I wrote a very introverted reply that "unfortunately" became a pitch, but it's more concentrated: http://move.rupy.se/file/park_engine.html http://move.rupy.se/file/park_engine.html
- rjyoungling 6y agoGrateful you took the time. "I predict SBC (like Raspberry 4 and Jetson Nano) will become the main form of computing before the end of this decade (ending not only Apple, Google, Sony, Nintendo but also the X86 empire)." Fascinated by that proposition.