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You talk about intent a lot, and how subconsciously communicating this is an issue is better than supposedly direct interaction, but what is it you don't want t
by sascha_sl 6y ago
You talk about intent a lot, and how subconsciously communicating this is an issue is better than supposedly direct interaction, but what is it you don't want to see specifically? Nobody has ever implied that there is any intention behind most of this type of sexist behavior, it is just useful to be aware that it is a thing so you can work on actively avoiding it, as with any other unconscious bias.
I'm in this situation a lot, I'm trans and my voice really does not match my appearance. People get confused, I understand, but beyond the first "please address me this way" I am in no way responsible for the difficulty people have in going through with the request. Do note that I personally really don't go out of my way to confront people if they keep doing it, I just avoid them as much as I can, because in current corporate cultures, you cannot win a confrontation like this if the person you're complaining to has issues relating to you. And for most people pronouns and honorifics are not a big deal. As I'd expect that sexism is not for men. But ideally anyone in my situation would be entirely justified to make a fuss about it.
It is not the fault or responsibility of anyone negatively affected to treat you with gloves. You should know better than taking it as a personal insult when someone pulls you aside and tells you "you're are possibly having this common bias, please be mindful of it".
- pgcj_poster 6y ago> Nobody has ever implied that there is any intention behind most of this type of sexist behavior Sexism is when men get together in a boardroom for a secret, fortnightly meeting where they smoke cigars and conspire to underpay women and leave the toilet seat up. Since you're trans, you should have been invited either before or after your transition... but maybe your local chapter's patriarch was just old-fashioned. Sorry about that. Anyway, since women don't know about this, they often use the word "sexism" to refer to subtle behaviors of men that make it harder for women to get a leg up in society, but that's incorrect. Something is only officially "sexist" if it's received a 2/3 majority vote of the brothers in a chapter and been consecrated over beer and football. So when you say something is sexist when it hasn't gone through the proper channels, it's no surprise when men get confused or defensive. Also, you're getting downvoted because the Hacker News Guidelines require that you "eschew flamebait," such as mentioning how your views were shaped as member of a minority group whose rights are considered a matter of opinion.