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> If people care, they do what actually helps you rather than insisting you make them feel good for superficial bullshit that only adds to your suffering. This

> If people care, they do what actually helps you rather than insisting you make them feel good for superficial bullshit that only adds to your suffering. This is a very simplistic way to look at people. A lot of people are misinformed or not thoughtful or don't fully understand your experience or frankly not that bright. The idea that people who genuinely care never do any damage is beyond ludicrous.

DoreenMichele 6y ago
That's a ludicrous interpretation of my remark. People who actually care will be okay with being told "This isn't helping. Please just stop." But that's not what the vast majority of people do. The vast majority of people want it acknowledged that they are good people because they care about you and are trying to help and all this shit. If they cared, they would drop it when asked instead of doubling down on trying to demand that you make them feel like a good person for fucking with your life and trampling your boundaries. I also have a serious condition. No, most people absolutely do not actually care about my welfare. I have tons of firsthand experience with this and I'm not budging one inch.
- geetee 6y ago
  Based on other comments, I was under the impression that some people wanted zero unsolicited feedback. This instead sounds like you don't want people to keep offering suggestions after you tell them to stop. The former would make for a really cold society. The latter is completely understandable. I would tell the repeat offenders to fuck right off.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - treeman79 6y ago
    Support groups are a good place. Lots of forums dedicated to most chronic conditions. Much safer to ask advice in those places.
- treeman79 6y ago
  I find it’s often due to people getting frustrated and not knowing his deal with it in an emotionally helpful way. See it in kids constantly, adults often. Kids getting mad at the cat for not liking being dressed in doll clothes. Yes you care about the cat. However now everyone including the cat is unhappy. Childish behavior, except it still hurts when loved ones get mad at you for not recovering fast enough. Parents offered me some pills (blood thinners) that might solve some problems. They got very upset when I refused without a doctors consent. Only thing I wanted from them was emotional support. Instead I had go cut them off for a year. All because they couldn’t fix me.

DoreenMichele 6y ago

That's a ludicrous interpretation of my remark. People who actually care will be okay with being told "This isn't helping. Please just stop." But that's not what the vast majority of people do. The vast majority of people want it acknowledged that they are good people because they care about you and are trying to help and all this shit. If they cared, they would drop it when asked instead of doubling down on trying to demand that you make them feel like a good person for fucking with your life and trampling your boundaries. I also have a serious condition. No, most people absolutely do not actually care about my welfare. I have tons of firsthand experience with this and I'm not budging one inch.

geetee 6y ago
Based on other comments, I was under the impression that some people wanted zero unsolicited feedback. This instead sounds like you don't want people to keep offering suggestions after you tell them to stop. The former would make for a really cold society. The latter is completely understandable. I would tell the repeat offenders to fuck right off.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- treeman79 6y ago
  Support groups are a good place. Lots of forums dedicated to most chronic conditions. Much safer to ask advice in those places.
treeman79 6y ago
I find it’s often due to people getting frustrated and not knowing his deal with it in an emotionally helpful way. See it in kids constantly, adults often. Kids getting mad at the cat for not liking being dressed in doll clothes. Yes you care about the cat. However now everyone including the cat is unhappy. Childish behavior, except it still hurts when loved ones get mad at you for not recovering fast enough. Parents offered me some pills (blood thinners) that might solve some problems. They got very upset when I refused without a doctors consent. Only thing I wanted from them was emotional support. Instead I had go cut them off for a year. All because they couldn’t fix me.