6 ms·

And perhaps this is a thing everyone deals with to some extent for one thing or another: I have a very strictly controlled diet. It's the result of a lot of te

And perhaps this is a thing everyone deals with to some extent for one thing or another: I have a very strictly controlled diet. It's the result of a lot of testing, and discussions with my doctors. Most people that are around me enough get a sense of this. Most don't know the depth of it. What gets old is when I deviate from the diet, by say having a glass of beer at a social function, it's a big deal. Everyone's concerned about me, which I appreciate, but I have to justify the beer by pointing out how it fits into my diet, and how I've planned for this beer. I have had to pull up my diet plan on more than one occasion to make someone happy. If I was known to have problems adhering to my diet, and asked for this sort of help, then fine. I don't have that, and I've tried to tell people that I know what my diet is. I try to be nice about it, and ask people to just let me be. Instead I get to defend every beer I have. So, now I'm the teetotaler in the office. It's just easier than the alternative. But it's damned annoying.

centimeter 6y ago
If your diet plan allows beer it’s probably not very effective. Doctors aren’t going to be very helpful here - 95% are incompetent. You should probably try to come up with a good and efficiently computable a priori dietary strategy (e.g. evolutionary ancestral diet, with the goal of minimizing the chance of running into defective metabolic pathways). I can’t think of any such strategies I’m aware of that would allow beer.
- smabie 6y ago
  What's wrong with beer?
  - shock 6y ago
    Contains gliadin and glutenin which promote the release of zonulin which regulates the tight junction in the intestinal epithelium. Disregulated tight junctions can lead to autoimmune disease. At least that's the theory. https://www.mygenefood.com/blog/zonulin-leaky-gut/ https://www.mygenefood.com/blog/zonulin-leaky-gut/
- uprighten 6y ago
  I'm not sure about 95% of doctors being incompetent. If nothing else they are much better trained than the average person offering advice.
  - shock 6y ago
    Trained to do what? Cure chronic disease? Edit: instead of answering, a bunch of doctors downvoted this question.
  - nmfisher 6y ago
    I wouldn't say most doctors are incompetent, but I would say that most are automatons working to a checklist which probably hasn't been updated since they left school. Patient reports symptoms A, B, C? Order tests X, Y, Z, prescribe drugs 1, 2 and 3. Now that's probably appropriate for (say) 70% of patients. But what about the other 30% of patients whose symptoms or conditions don't fit squarely in the checklist? That's when some kind of analytical/critical diagnostic skills are needed, and in my experience, very few doctors possess these skills. Once you're in uncharted waters, they're not helpful. In fact, they're often actively unhelpful because they refuse to acknowledge that some things might be outside their expertise and they either need to actually hit the books, or do the work to find a specialist who can help you.
    - wutbrodo 6y ago
      Great comment, sums up exactly what the issue is without resorting to shortcuts like "incompetent" that are more likely to offend than convince (something I've certainly been guilty of in the past). At this point, for mild to moderate healthcare-system interactions, I go to doctor's appt with a pretty accurate sense of what prescription and/or advice I'm leaving with. I basically consider it a fee I need to pay in order to get the legally-required prescription or referral I already know I need.
      - centimeter 6y ago
        What’s wrong with using shortcuts like “incompetent”? It’s not generally a good use of time to enumerate all the specific ways in which most professionals are incompetent, especially if you aren’t familiar with the field.
- jquery 6y ago
  This entire comment thread seems like Exhibit A in why banana_giraffe doesn’t usually tell other people.
  - treeman79 6y ago
    Exactly. Spent years hiding symptoms. When it got the point I couldn’t, I had a brief round of sympathy. Then people got impatient that I didn’t quickly “recover”. In that case recovery was over a year, just to get back to were I could hid symptoms again.
- banana_giraffe 6y ago
  This is exactly what I'm talking about. One beer every 3 months is proof my diet is a problem? For a condition you know nothing about? Really. Fine, then it's useless, and I've surrounded myself with idiots, all of my careful testing and attempts to understand my condition have failed. This kinda of nonsense, where I debate the very meaning of "me" to some extent is tiring. Even if I'm wrong in all of this, I'm not harming you, you're someone online, but I try really hard to not be a burden on anyone I come in contact with. I actually try to be a net positive to the world, in my small way. It's already hard enough for me to wake up every day and face the world without just ending my pain. Don't make me debate my sanity while I'm at it.
  - kshacker 6y ago
    I think you need to cool down. We live in a complex world. Some of us know the health side well a lot of us don't. Then we get an issue, like I had a heart attack and stents, and besides what the doctors and the family say, we read and read and read. And then when we see all the healthcare industry is trying to do is to make money from our sickness, when we see a friend in similar or really tangential pain, we try to help based on our experiences. That is life. I have offered my (unsolicited) help and knowing my condition some people have also seemed my help. That is again life. What you and I need are skills to move on if not interested, but blaming people for trying to help in a social setting is probably not the right way to look at it. Apologies for being blunt.
    - wpietri 6y ago
      Nope. He does not need to cool down. He needs people to realize when "trying to help" is not helping. When it's actually about appearing smart or appeasing one's anxieties or showboating or controlling or getting nice points. If you think somebody might benefit from your advice, you could ask. "Hey, I have been through X, would my opinion be useful?" But before you do that, maybe think about the vast number of people who have already jumped in to offer unsolicited, unhelpful, and unwanted advice. And maybe just trust that if a person needs your advice, they'll ask you for it.
    - boneitis 6y ago
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
darkerside 6y ago
Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much. People can't put themselves in your shoes, but they try, and when they see you having a beer, knowing it could be bad for you, they try to support you in keeping away from it. I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.
- kortilla 6y ago
  That’s not “caring about you too much”. It’s not knowing what’s appropriate. As someone who had to follow a strict diet for a while, I know for a fact that the people who stuck their nose into my allowed indulgences did not care about me nearly as much as the people who actually cared and knew I was capable of managing my own diet.
  - darkerside 6y ago
    How is it that you know that for a fact? Edit: Please don't downvote a clear question. The truth is, you can't know another's intentions in most cases. It's very possible parent does know them in these cases for other circumstantial reasons. In which case I'd ask, how do you know that extrapolated to everyone else who asks those same questions?
  - rlonn 6y ago
    If you meet an overweight person, do you begin conversation by telling them to eat less? If not, why don't you? They obviously get too much calories and may benefit from your advice. And they can always tell you to stop giving them advice if they don't like it. Seriously, some people have no common sense and/or are just arrogant. Jumping into a situation where you have minimal information and assuming to know best is the hallmark of a fool.
- DoreenMichele 6y ago
  It's virtue signaling, not caring. It's pretending to care and expecting to get pats on the head for it while actually being a burden to someone whose life is already overburdened. It's the opposite of actually caring about a person. It's caring about them making you feel good about going through superficial "caring" motions while doing absolutely no good and lots of terrible harm when it is added up over time for the person with a chronic condition whom absolutely everyone wants pats on the head from for pretending to care while doing not a damn thing to actually make their life better in some meaningful way. If people care, they do what actually helps you rather than insisting you make them feel good for superficial bullshit that only adds to your suffering.

centimeter 6y ago

If your diet plan allows beer it’s probably not very effective. Doctors aren’t going to be very helpful here - 95% are incompetent. You should probably try to come up with a good and efficiently computable a priori dietary strategy (e.g. evolutionary ancestral diet, with the goal of minimizing the chance of running into defective metabolic pathways). I can’t think of any such strategies I’m aware of that would allow beer.

smabie 6y ago
What's wrong with beer?
- shock 6y ago
  Contains gliadin and glutenin which promote the release of zonulin which regulates the tight junction in the intestinal epithelium. Disregulated tight junctions can lead to autoimmune disease. At least that's the theory. https://www.mygenefood.com/blog/zonulin-leaky-gut/ https://www.mygenefood.com/blog/zonulin-leaky-gut/
uprighten 6y ago
I'm not sure about 95% of doctors being incompetent. If nothing else they are much better trained than the average person offering advice.
- shock 6y ago
  Trained to do what? Cure chronic disease? Edit: instead of answering, a bunch of doctors downvoted this question.
- nmfisher 6y ago
  I wouldn't say most doctors are incompetent, but I would say that most are automatons working to a checklist which probably hasn't been updated since they left school. Patient reports symptoms A, B, C? Order tests X, Y, Z, prescribe drugs 1, 2 and 3. Now that's probably appropriate for (say) 70% of patients. But what about the other 30% of patients whose symptoms or conditions don't fit squarely in the checklist? That's when some kind of analytical/critical diagnostic skills are needed, and in my experience, very few doctors possess these skills. Once you're in uncharted waters, they're not helpful. In fact, they're often actively unhelpful because they refuse to acknowledge that some things might be outside their expertise and they either need to actually hit the books, or do the work to find a specialist who can help you.
  - wutbrodo 6y ago
    Great comment, sums up exactly what the issue is without resorting to shortcuts like "incompetent" that are more likely to offend than convince (something I've certainly been guilty of in the past). At this point, for mild to moderate healthcare-system interactions, I go to doctor's appt with a pretty accurate sense of what prescription and/or advice I'm leaving with. I basically consider it a fee I need to pay in order to get the legally-required prescription or referral I already know I need.
    - centimeter 6y ago
      What’s wrong with using shortcuts like “incompetent”? It’s not generally a good use of time to enumerate all the specific ways in which most professionals are incompetent, especially if you aren’t familiar with the field.
jquery 6y ago
This entire comment thread seems like Exhibit A in why banana_giraffe doesn’t usually tell other people.
- treeman79 6y ago
  Exactly. Spent years hiding symptoms. When it got the point I couldn’t, I had a brief round of sympathy. Then people got impatient that I didn’t quickly “recover”. In that case recovery was over a year, just to get back to were I could hid symptoms again.
banana_giraffe 6y ago
This is exactly what I'm talking about. One beer every 3 months is proof my diet is a problem? For a condition you know nothing about? Really. Fine, then it's useless, and I've surrounded myself with idiots, all of my careful testing and attempts to understand my condition have failed. This kinda of nonsense, where I debate the very meaning of "me" to some extent is tiring. Even if I'm wrong in all of this, I'm not harming you, you're someone online, but I try really hard to not be a burden on anyone I come in contact with. I actually try to be a net positive to the world, in my small way. It's already hard enough for me to wake up every day and face the world without just ending my pain. Don't make me debate my sanity while I'm at it.
- kshacker 6y ago
  I think you need to cool down. We live in a complex world. Some of us know the health side well a lot of us don't. Then we get an issue, like I had a heart attack and stents, and besides what the doctors and the family say, we read and read and read. And then when we see all the healthcare industry is trying to do is to make money from our sickness, when we see a friend in similar or really tangential pain, we try to help based on our experiences. That is life. I have offered my (unsolicited) help and knowing my condition some people have also seemed my help. That is again life. What you and I need are skills to move on if not interested, but blaming people for trying to help in a social setting is probably not the right way to look at it. Apologies for being blunt.
  - wpietri 6y ago
    Nope. He does not need to cool down. He needs people to realize when "trying to help" is not helping. When it's actually about appearing smart or appeasing one's anxieties or showboating or controlling or getting nice points. If you think somebody might benefit from your advice, you could ask. "Hey, I have been through X, would my opinion be useful?" But before you do that, maybe think about the vast number of people who have already jumped in to offer unsolicited, unhelpful, and unwanted advice. And maybe just trust that if a person needs your advice, they'll ask you for it.
  - boneitis 6y ago

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

darkerside 6y ago

Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much. People can't put themselves in your shoes, but they try, and when they see you having a beer, knowing it could be bad for you, they try to support you in keeping away from it. I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.

kortilla 6y ago
That’s not “caring about you too much”. It’s not knowing what’s appropriate. As someone who had to follow a strict diet for a while, I know for a fact that the people who stuck their nose into my allowed indulgences did not care about me nearly as much as the people who actually cared and knew I was capable of managing my own diet.
- darkerside 6y ago
  How is it that you know that for a fact? Edit: Please don't downvote a clear question. The truth is, you can't know another's intentions in most cases. It's very possible parent does know them in these cases for other circumstantial reasons. In which case I'd ask, how do you know that extrapolated to everyone else who asks those same questions?
- rlonn 6y ago
  If you meet an overweight person, do you begin conversation by telling them to eat less? If not, why don't you? They obviously get too much calories and may benefit from your advice. And they can always tell you to stop giving them advice if they don't like it. Seriously, some people have no common sense and/or are just arrogant. Jumping into a situation where you have minimal information and assuming to know best is the hallmark of a fool.
DoreenMichele 6y ago
It's virtue signaling, not caring. It's pretending to care and expecting to get pats on the head for it while actually being a burden to someone whose life is already overburdened. It's the opposite of actually caring about a person. It's caring about them making you feel good about going through superficial "caring" motions while doing absolutely no good and lots of terrible harm when it is added up over time for the person with a chronic condition whom absolutely everyone wants pats on the head from for pretending to care while doing not a damn thing to actually make their life better in some meaningful way. If people care, they do what actually helps you rather than insisting you make them feel good for superficial bullshit that only adds to your suffering.