GLENN GREENWALD: "Your Honor, I can prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that the defendant killed Mr Smith. And I will do it with a single question. I am so cer

GLENN GREENWALD: "Your Honor, I can prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that the defendant killed Mr Smith. And I will do it with a single question. I am so certain of the defendant's guilt, I move that the court adjourn so that your Honor can begin deliberating on the sentence." JUDGE: "Mr Greenwald, we need to establish the facts of the matter first." GLENN GREENWALD: "That will be a breeze your Honor. A fleeting diversion from the matter at hand. I can prove the defendant's guilt with... One. Simple. Question. Like that! snaps fingers. But, more importantly, I think that forty to life is commensurate with the crime." JUDGE: "The evidence, Mister Greenwald. I believe you said you had a question about evidence?" GLENN GREENWALD: "Of course, your Honor. Of course. And let me just say I have the victim's children in the court today, to see justice done. You wouldn't want to not do justice in front of the victim's children would you, your Honor? Look, little Timmy is waving." (Glenn waves toward the rear of the court). JUDGE: "That appears.. Adjusts glasses and peers intently That appears to be a waving tube man, similar to the one outside the Carpet Salesroom down the block..." GLENN GREENWALD: (Hurriedly) "Be that as it may, your Honor, to the matter of sentenc-" JUDGE:"It even says Carpet Warehouse on the sleeve." GLENN GREENWALD: "I... uh..." JUDGE:"Mr Greenwald. MISTER GREENWALD! (Bangs gavel) Did you steal this homonculus from the Carpet Warehouse?" GLENN GREENWALD: (rushes up and snatches gavel) "Bailiff, remove Timmy Victim from the court." JUDGE: (Stares silently at Greenwald coldly for a heartbeat) "I believe you had a question for the defendant?" GLENN GREENWALD: "Yes, one that will-" JUDGE: "And your entire case of guilt is based on this one question which will prove the case (He consults his notes) 'Like that!'?" (Snaps fingers) GLENN GREENWALD: "Yes, I uh-" JUDGE: "The question, Mr Greenwald." GLENN GREENWALD:"I... Uh... did you-" JUDGE: "Address the defendant, Mr Greenwald. I am not on trial here." GLENN GREENWALD: "Defendant. Did you... on the night in question... did you kill the victim?" DEFENDANT: (Leans forward, lips close to the microphone) "No." GLENN GREENWALD: "Well fuck. I'm all outta ideas."