I suffered from shyness and what's called introversion when I was young. I also got combative with people I worked with. In my early 20s I met a guy (at a semin

I suffered from shyness and what's called introversion when I was young. I also got combative with people I worked with. In my early 20s I met a guy (at a seminar) who was outgoing, friendly, easy to be around. Somehow we hit it off. He got me to attend Toastmasters (to get over my fear of speaking to strangers, and speaking to groups) and gave me some advice that some people pay thousands of dollars in therapy for: smile, look people in the eye, listen. Talk to (at least) one stranger every day -- initiate a conversation rather than standing in the corner. At first that all felt forced and artificial but before long it was second nature. That free advice helped me in my professional life more than any tech skill. People decide if they like you or not within seconds of meeting you, based on a variety of cues. If they don't like you then you will struggle to get a job or gig. Programmers often complain that the extroverts get ahead even if their tech skills aren't great. That's human nature, so rather than complain and fight it you can try to change yourself. You don't have to be fake. I see people on HN and other forums all the time writing about "hacking" their lifespan, their diet/metabolism, their ergonomics, their productivity. You can "hack" your personality too. Stop calling yourself an introvert for a start, that's not something a person "is," it's a label you can change.