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The idea that we are “good in private” is a cultural statement. In fact, I’d have argued against it only a few months ago before I became aware that this is the

The idea that we are “good in private” is a cultural statement. In fact, I’d have argued against it only a few months ago before I became aware that this is the norm for most of the world. In my world, all the dirty lies and secrets are kept private. We “put our best foot forward” and “manage our personal brand”. I think that this idea alone is worth discussing more, especially as it relates to justice. In my world, if you act out in public the police get involved. The police carry guns here, and they use them. On the internet, if you act out... ... ...honestly, I can’t finish that. It’s liberating to those of us who have suppressed ourselves, but it’s also culturally devastating to be so viciously attacked openly by people in public. It makes me want to shut down the offenders, with a violent righteousness of a public super-hero. Yet, I’m as helpless ever.

bigbubba 6y ago
I assume 'your part of the world' is America. I can flip somebody the bird for obeying the speed limit and nobody calls cops with guns to stop me from being a shithead. I think it's generally true that people are more willing to be assholes to strangers than their close acquaintances. This has certainly been my observation of American culture at least. People are ruder to people the further removed from those people they are and are very rarely ever ruder than they are in public. I've heard similar sentiments from people who work in public facing jobs, particularly retail.
- megameter 6y ago
  There is a longstanding acknowledgement of the "rude tourist" effect where people behave less respectfully when outside of their hometown, even if it's one town over. It just becomes more of a caricature when it's an entirely different language and culture and tourist is like, "well, that's not how we do things where I come from".

bigbubba 6y ago

I assume 'your part of the world' is America. I can flip somebody the bird for obeying the speed limit and nobody calls cops with guns to stop me from being a shithead. I think it's generally true that people are more willing to be assholes to strangers than their close acquaintances. This has certainly been my observation of American culture at least. People are ruder to people the further removed from those people they are and are very rarely ever ruder than they are in public. I've heard similar sentiments from people who work in public facing jobs, particularly retail.

megameter 6y ago
There is a longstanding acknowledgement of the "rude tourist" effect where people behave less respectfully when outside of their hometown, even if it's one town over. It just becomes more of a caricature when it's an entirely different language and culture and tourist is like, "well, that's not how we do things where I come from".