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I'll always remember growing up when we moved from a big house (2000 sq ft) to a little apartment (700 sq ft). My parents didn't lose their jobs, maybe a few ex

I'll always remember growing up when we moved from a big house (2000 sq ft) to a little apartment (700 sq ft). My parents didn't lose their jobs, maybe a few expensive things hit but really there was no obvious reason to an outsider. We could have stayed in the big house and gotten by. But our family wasn't in great financial shape. Small expenses became debts, parents always fighting or stressed about money, just general family stress. Classic stretched middle class family, perhaps a bit more than others. But we moved anyway, and it was great. Stress went down, and as each of us turned 16 my parents bought us (cheap) cars and we started working. Sharing rooms was annoying but really didn't impact us much. Lower stress was great, and a little pressure to get jobs got all of us a head start on working and paying for stuff (gas, insurance, fast food, cell phones, outings with friends) during high school. We are all successful and happy today. But I bet a lot of people thought we were losers when we left the big house. And if we had waited until we HAD to leave the big house, we would be losers.

mattgreenrocks 6y ago
That's a great lesson to learn at a time when you are impressionable. There's a lot of perspective to be gained from being at different levels of status, and seeing that life really isn't that different. IME, like a lot of life, there's a tension: you need to be willing and able to work hard (often without recognition), able to accept the rewards that may come from that work, but also able to not hold too tightly to those rewards. I hope I can teach and model this lesson well for my son.
reducesuffering 6y ago
Was this a 4 person family in a 2 bedroom apartment?
- chmod600 6y ago
  5 people in two bedrooms, youngest 14, so it was a bit tight. But honestly I don't remember it as a problem. I was a teenager and more concerned with other stuff. The point is not that the living condiitions were bad. They weren't. We had what we needed and more. The point is that my parents were wise enough to cast off the things that didn't matter before they were forced to, and focus on what did matter. They didn't care what the neighbors or friends or aunts and uncles thought. How many people willingly drop themselves down a few rungs on the social ladder for anything? Even for stuff that matters much more, like their family's financial security, happiness, and freedom?

mattgreenrocks 6y ago

That's a great lesson to learn at a time when you are impressionable. There's a lot of perspective to be gained from being at different levels of status, and seeing that life really isn't that different. IME, like a lot of life, there's a tension: you need to be willing and able to work hard (often without recognition), able to accept the rewards that may come from that work, but also able to not hold too tightly to those rewards. I hope I can teach and model this lesson well for my son.

reducesuffering 6y ago

Was this a 4 person family in a 2 bedroom apartment?

chmod600 6y ago
5 people in two bedrooms, youngest 14, so it was a bit tight. But honestly I don't remember it as a problem. I was a teenager and more concerned with other stuff. The point is not that the living condiitions were bad. They weren't. We had what we needed and more. The point is that my parents were wise enough to cast off the things that didn't matter before they were forced to, and focus on what did matter. They didn't care what the neighbors or friends or aunts and uncles thought. How many people willingly drop themselves down a few rungs on the social ladder for anything? Even for stuff that matters much more, like their family's financial security, happiness, and freedom?