Similarly, I have chronic leukemia for more than 5 years. It will never go away but it is manageable, to the extend where I can live my life just like a normal

Similarly, I have chronic leukemia for more than 5 years. It will never go away but it is manageable, to the extend where I can live my life just like a normal person and with life expectancy of 25 more years. The first year was hard, but I managed to live through it somehow. I deal with it by not dealing with it and forgetting about it, except when it is time for me to take my medication and the regular doctors visit every three months. It did change me over time, especially because I am in my late twenties right now and diagnosed when I was 24, I became a lot more reckless with my decisions (I used to be a control freak) and my illusion of healthy/successful/unstoppable self was shattered. I am not sure how I can explain more (sorry about that!), I just live by somehow and stopped worrying about it. I know that it is out there and probably will get me in the end (and probably the social security payments that I am making are just a waste :) ), but there is nothing I can do about it, except for taking my medication and visiting my doctor regularly.