7 ms·

Someone else mentioned in the comments that you must learn to push through and ignore your illness. That is true but comes with warnings. Your baseline will be

Someone else mentioned in the comments that you must learn to push through and ignore your illness. That is true but comes with warnings. Your baseline will be at a different place than someone who is healthy. You must learn it and learn to have realistic goals. You should not try to push yourself past this, it will burn you. Especially if that illness is new and you are used to how you were previously. You won't be the same, and that's alright. Don't aim for "healthy person + 10%". Instead, aim for "your reality + 10%". What is important is to learn to aim for a little above that baseline. Push yourself in realistic ways. Hit the gym even if you don't want to. See a therapist even if it feels like a chore. Do all the thing you won't want to do. They are hard and it's okay. Especially if you were down for a long time, you probably developed bad habits. It's okay to be lazy at the start but you need to find your cruise speed. Push yourself as hard as your illness allows. If that means only being able to go to the gym once a month and taking short walks on most weeks, then so be it. But stay active, both of mind and body.

heisenbit 6y ago
Know exactly what your illness allows you. Once you start pushing yourself you will be tempted to ignore these limits - don't. Be upfront and honest with yourself. Learn to say no.
jidiculous 6y ago
Yeah this is somewhat related to the spoon metaphor[1], right? Basically another term for bandwidth, and acknowledging and accepting that your bandwidth will be at a different place from someone who is healthy. 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory
- Raphmedia 6y ago
  I've read this metaphor and know a lot of people who use it. It's very easy to use and explain, which in my opinion is its power. I don't personally use it, but I'm sure being aware of it has changed my perspective. That probably explains why you can recognize it in my personal philosophies.
jointpdf 6y ago
Nice comment, but one nit: I think awareness + acceptance + gratitude is a better path than ignoring an illness. I say this as someone that has a lot of deeply ingrained avoidance behaviors (e.g. smoking weed 24/7 to mask anxiety and pain, isolating myself to avoid social anxiety). Obviously, ignoring problems can often make them worse, and sometimes simple solutions do exist (e.g. I have had disabling IBS off and on for 20+ years that is improved significantly by avoiding alcohol and taking fiber). That said, everyone needs relief at times, so be kind to yourself about avoidance patterns. Awareness is simply noticing how I feel without judgment or reaction, but with the attitude of a curious observer. So instead of A: (feel pain —> “I’m fucked up / disabled” narrative) or B: (feel pain —> <ignore> —> <subconscious avoidance behaviors>), it’s like C: (feel pain —> “this is a sensation I’m experiencing” —> <no action>). Needless to say, this is not an easy thing to do and takes practice. Acceptance to me means not defining myself or my self-worth in terms of my illness(es), or comparing myself to others. However, it does not mean accepting defeat or relinquishing hope that things can improve. Gratitude looks like being aware of and thankful for the wide world of things that you can do and experience, the people that love you (even if you can’t think of any, they’re out there), and remembering the “fact” that being a conscious creature in this strange and beautiful universe is an infinitely valuable gift.
- Raphmedia 6y ago
  I very much agree. I do not recommend "ignoring" anything, but I wanted to address this point since I saw it coming up in other comment threads. Acceptance is a very good word to describe it. You came up with some great points, I'll do my best to remember them.
treeman79 6y ago
I pushed through for 20 years. I knew something was wrong, but doctors and family were awlaeays dismissive. My body and mind completely gave out. I’m essentially fully disabled, but because it’s not directly visible I couldn’t get disability. Even when I was in bed lights off for 18+ hours a day in horrible agony. There are limits to what the body can take without correct treatment.

heisenbit 6y ago

Know exactly what your illness allows you. Once you start pushing yourself you will be tempted to ignore these limits - don't. Be upfront and honest with yourself. Learn to say no.

jidiculous 6y ago

Yeah this is somewhat related to the spoon metaphor[1], right? Basically another term for bandwidth, and acknowledging and accepting that your bandwidth will be at a different place from someone who is healthy. 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

Raphmedia 6y ago
I've read this metaphor and know a lot of people who use it. It's very easy to use and explain, which in my opinion is its power. I don't personally use it, but I'm sure being aware of it has changed my perspective. That probably explains why you can recognize it in my personal philosophies.

jointpdf 6y ago

Nice comment, but one nit: I think awareness + acceptance + gratitude is a better path than ignoring an illness. I say this as someone that has a lot of deeply ingrained avoidance behaviors (e.g. smoking weed 24/7 to mask anxiety and pain, isolating myself to avoid social anxiety). Obviously, ignoring problems can often make them worse, and sometimes simple solutions do exist (e.g. I have had disabling IBS off and on for 20+ years that is improved significantly by avoiding alcohol and taking fiber). That said, everyone needs relief at times, so be kind to yourself about avoidance patterns. Awareness is simply noticing how I feel without judgment or reaction, but with the attitude of a curious observer. So instead of A: (feel pain —> “I’m fucked up / disabled” narrative) or B: (feel pain —> <ignore> —> <subconscious avoidance behaviors>), it’s like C: (feel pain —> “this is a sensation I’m experiencing” —> <no action>). Needless to say, this is not an easy thing to do and takes practice. Acceptance to me means not defining myself or my self-worth in terms of my illness(es), or comparing myself to others. However, it does not mean accepting defeat or relinquishing hope that things can improve. Gratitude looks like being aware of and thankful for the wide world of things that you can do and experience, the people that love you (even if you can’t think of any, they’re out there), and remembering the “fact” that being a conscious creature in this strange and beautiful universe is an infinitely valuable gift.

Raphmedia 6y ago
I very much agree. I do not recommend "ignoring" anything, but I wanted to address this point since I saw it coming up in other comment threads. Acceptance is a very good word to describe it. You came up with some great points, I'll do my best to remember them.

treeman79 6y ago

I pushed through for 20 years. I knew something was wrong, but doctors and family were awlaeays dismissive. My body and mind completely gave out. I’m essentially fully disabled, but because it’s not directly visible I couldn’t get disability. Even when I was in bed lights off for 18+ hours a day in horrible agony. There are limits to what the body can take without correct treatment.