The way I try to understand this is that the stationary body is not a single particle but a collection of particles. Since the black hole distorts the space-tim

The way I try to understand this is that the stationary body is not a single particle but a collection of particles. Since the black hole distorts the space-time gravity in a humongous manner each of the particles in the body at different points in space-time have significant different curvature in space-time and hence would experience the different tidal "forces" which would account for spaghettification.