So, first and foremost - apologies. I had read two replies and put them together in my head when replying to you. So, yes, I agree with what you are saying here

So, first and foremost - apologies. I had read two replies and put them together in my head when replying to you. So, yes, I agree with what you are saying here. The idea that I was trying to get at is that you can accept that you were a victim and do something about it. We are saying the same thing - but you are saying it better, so sorry for the confusion. Additionally, some people are victims of situations - so say, poor family background, a minority race that is looked down upon by the majority, having a chronic illness - and you can accept that is true but mentally decide that you are going to take steps to make it better, however you can. You don't want to land in "I have no control and am a victim" when you are being victimized. That is what you are getting at too. As a society, we don't want to create a society where anyone being abused feels like continuing to be abused is actually better than looking for help / making a change. That's not the victim's fault... that's someone choosing what they see as the best of two not attractive outcomes.