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The difference between charisma and narcissism may be in the eye of the beholder. However, I can think of a few people in my life that are personable and incre

by Timpy 6y ago

The difference between charisma and narcissism may be in the eye of the beholder. However, I can think of a few people in my life that are personable and incredibly genuine; the kind of person that seems to draw the best out in others. I wouldn't be happy to hear them described as narcissistic.

joncrane 6y ago
The thing is narcissism in and of itself is not necessarily negative. We're all the stars of our own shows/lives. Some people want attention and do all the right things to get it: pursue the right goals, get people together to do stuff that's good for humanity. You'd better believe that many people whom we view very positively might have been narcissists: Ghandi, Mother Teresa, etc. But the difference is they did GOOD things to get the attention and power they thought they deserved. I think it has to do with the values you absorb as a very young person. We all have a drive for attention, for power, for comfort, for security. For some the drive, and the talent or "charisma" to achieve those goals is higher. The decisions made along the way, the considerations of the side effects, and what you DO with that power are what distinguish people like Donald Trump and Hitler from people like Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. And let's not get it wrong; even the latter two have a few spots on their records. No one is perfect.
- b0rsuk 6y ago
  "It's almost like saying 'This is a safe drunk driver'" Ramani's video on 'healthy narcissism', 10:28 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 She also has a video on "communal narcissists" - a breed of narcissists on a mission to help people that are very careful about documenting every single thing they do. Upon closer inspection, it turns out many people do good things only to be in spotlight and are mean to people close to them, including assistants who work for their success. She says whether it's worth it for the society in the end is a philosophical question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY
- dorkwood 6y ago
  I used to think that a narcissist was just a person who enjoyed being in the spotlight until I encountered one at my last job. Being terrorized by a narcissist for six months because you inadvertently made them look bad is a terrifying thing to go through. I feel like we would have heard stories about Barack Obama tormenting his subordinates by now if he was truly narcissistic.
- watwut 6y ago
  Narcissism as mental health thing is not positive. If you read the list of traits. It is not merely large ego or confidence. It is not just about decisions of what you build. It is also about outsized emotional reactions which makes narcissist and inability to see others as different individuals.
b0rsuk 6y ago
Narcissism is charisma + these behaviors: - lack of empathy - entitlement to special treatment - superficial - constantly seeking validation and admiration - manipulative, exploitative, lying Note that covert/vulnerable narcissists are mostly like that but they trade charm for a ton of passive-aggressive behaviors and snide remarks. Charisma is the favorite tool of classic, grandiose narcissists. https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87 https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87

by Timpy 6y ago

joncrane 6y ago

The thing is narcissism in and of itself is not necessarily negative. We're all the stars of our own shows/lives. Some people want attention and do all the right things to get it: pursue the right goals, get people together to do stuff that's good for humanity. You'd better believe that many people whom we view very positively might have been narcissists: Ghandi, Mother Teresa, etc. But the difference is they did GOOD things to get the attention and power they thought they deserved. I think it has to do with the values you absorb as a very young person. We all have a drive for attention, for power, for comfort, for security. For some the drive, and the talent or "charisma" to achieve those goals is higher. The decisions made along the way, the considerations of the side effects, and what you DO with that power are what distinguish people like Donald Trump and Hitler from people like Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. And let's not get it wrong; even the latter two have a few spots on their records. No one is perfect.

b0rsuk 6y ago
"It's almost like saying 'This is a safe drunk driver'" Ramani's video on 'healthy narcissism', 10:28 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 She also has a video on "communal narcissists" - a breed of narcissists on a mission to help people that are very careful about documenting every single thing they do. Upon closer inspection, it turns out many people do good things only to be in spotlight and are mean to people close to them, including assistants who work for their success. She says whether it's worth it for the society in the end is a philosophical question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY
dorkwood 6y ago
I used to think that a narcissist was just a person who enjoyed being in the spotlight until I encountered one at my last job. Being terrorized by a narcissist for six months because you inadvertently made them look bad is a terrifying thing to go through. I feel like we would have heard stories about Barack Obama tormenting his subordinates by now if he was truly narcissistic.
watwut 6y ago
Narcissism as mental health thing is not positive. If you read the list of traits. It is not merely large ego or confidence. It is not just about decisions of what you build. It is also about outsized emotional reactions which makes narcissist and inability to see others as different individuals.

b0rsuk 6y ago

Narcissism is charisma + these behaviors: - lack of empathy - entitlement to special treatment - superficial - constantly seeking validation and admiration - manipulative, exploitative, lying Note that covert/vulnerable narcissists are mostly like that but they trade charm for a ton of passive-aggressive behaviors and snide remarks. Charisma is the favorite tool of classic, grandiose narcissists. https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87 https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87