5 ms·

Dr Ramani is pretty awesome, but all her views are heavily skewed towards narcissism and it's dangers, rightfully so, since people seem to underestimate that tr

Dr Ramani is pretty awesome, but all her views are heavily skewed towards narcissism and it's dangers, rightfully so, since people seem to underestimate that trait. It all depends how you define charisma. If it's "larger than life" it can be and is often abused, if it's "easy to be around and suave" that comes closer to what I would think charisma is.

Timpy 6y ago
The difference between charisma and narcissism may be in the eye of the beholder. However, I can think of a few people in my life that are personable and incredibly genuine; the kind of person that seems to draw the best out in others. I wouldn't be happy to hear them described as narcissistic.
- joncrane 6y ago
  The thing is narcissism in and of itself is not necessarily negative. We're all the stars of our own shows/lives. Some people want attention and do all the right things to get it: pursue the right goals, get people together to do stuff that's good for humanity. You'd better believe that many people whom we view very positively might have been narcissists: Ghandi, Mother Teresa, etc. But the difference is they did GOOD things to get the attention and power they thought they deserved. I think it has to do with the values you absorb as a very young person. We all have a drive for attention, for power, for comfort, for security. For some the drive, and the talent or "charisma" to achieve those goals is higher. The decisions made along the way, the considerations of the side effects, and what you DO with that power are what distinguish people like Donald Trump and Hitler from people like Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. And let's not get it wrong; even the latter two have a few spots on their records. No one is perfect.
  - b0rsuk 6y ago
    "It's almost like saying 'This is a safe drunk driver'" Ramani's video on 'healthy narcissism', 10:28 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 She also has a video on "communal narcissists" - a breed of narcissists on a mission to help people that are very careful about documenting every single thing they do. Upon closer inspection, it turns out many people do good things only to be in spotlight and are mean to people close to them, including assistants who work for their success. She says whether it's worth it for the society in the end is a philosophical question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY
  - dorkwood 6y ago
    I used to think that a narcissist was just a person who enjoyed being in the spotlight until I encountered one at my last job. Being terrorized by a narcissist for six months because you inadvertently made them look bad is a terrifying thing to go through. I feel like we would have heard stories about Barack Obama tormenting his subordinates by now if he was truly narcissistic.
  - watwut 6y ago
    Narcissism as mental health thing is not positive. If you read the list of traits. It is not merely large ego or confidence. It is not just about decisions of what you build. It is also about outsized emotional reactions which makes narcissist and inability to see others as different individuals.
- b0rsuk 6y ago
  Narcissism is charisma + these behaviors: - lack of empathy - entitlement to special treatment - superficial - constantly seeking validation and admiration - manipulative, exploitative, lying Note that covert/vulnerable narcissists are mostly like that but they trade charm for a ton of passive-aggressive behaviors and snide remarks. Charisma is the favorite tool of classic, grandiose narcissists. https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87 https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87
ravenstine 6y ago
I liked Ramani until I realized that every other day she posts videos where she repeats the same material she's covered countless times in the past. I became convinced that you could watch her whole YouTube channel and conclude that everyone around you is a narcissist. This isn't to say that she hasn't made lots of good and valid content, but I find it ironic that she uses her own apparent charisma to exploit a topic and turn it into a catch-all for describing any cancerous individual. I wouldn't have much objection to this in isolation, except I presume her channel is monetized, which inherently changes my perception of her intention. By contrast, Dr. Grande's channel has more varied psychological content and comes off as more neutral than Ramani. Although recently he's been doing a lot more analyses of individuals than of broader subjects. Someone who wants to understand narcissistic personality disorder should probably look up its commonly accepted definition, then watch Dr. Ramani's videos and decide which ones matter and which ones really don't. That's just my opinion.
- hedberg10 6y ago
  I think she just focused on narcissism for a whole month, as well as it being somewhat of a specialty of hers. It's also a pretty big Youtube niche. If you watch the Med Circle content she is pretty succinct and well versed on other mental health issues as well.
  - b0rsuk 6y ago
    Yup, I saw her comparing borderline to CPTSD. She talks about avoidant personality disorder, paranoia, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive.
- b0rsuk 6y ago
  Dr Grande has a very good channel and it's hard to find a flaw in it. I guess it's relatively unexciting - until you hear him talk about guns. In my opinion there's a narcissism epidemic going on. Charisma is seen not just as a trait but as a value. Everyone wants some. It's lumped together with good leadership, extroversion etc. Charismatic selfish people are praised as CEOs, celebrities, youtubers, politicians, actors. And enthralled people keep making excuses for them! And calling YOU crazy. For many people it's true that narcissists are all around, and it's easy to explain! Kind, selfless, charitable people are narcissist magnets(They will keep making excuses). Also people from messed up families, who didn't develop healthy boundaries(Does fish know it's under water?). They are easy to impress and exploit. Narcissists and manipulators can sense weakness. By contrast, if you're assertive, you repel them without knowing and it may seem like the problem is overblown. Both earlier kinds of people end up being marginalized. I have another issue with Dr Ramani and why she's not a complete source on narcissim. She's great for theory and the big picture but gives few examples of things narcissists actually say and how you might counteract it.

Timpy 6y ago

The difference between charisma and narcissism may be in the eye of the beholder. However, I can think of a few people in my life that are personable and incredibly genuine; the kind of person that seems to draw the best out in others. I wouldn't be happy to hear them described as narcissistic.

joncrane 6y ago
The thing is narcissism in and of itself is not necessarily negative. We're all the stars of our own shows/lives. Some people want attention and do all the right things to get it: pursue the right goals, get people together to do stuff that's good for humanity. You'd better believe that many people whom we view very positively might have been narcissists: Ghandi, Mother Teresa, etc. But the difference is they did GOOD things to get the attention and power they thought they deserved. I think it has to do with the values you absorb as a very young person. We all have a drive for attention, for power, for comfort, for security. For some the drive, and the talent or "charisma" to achieve those goals is higher. The decisions made along the way, the considerations of the side effects, and what you DO with that power are what distinguish people like Donald Trump and Hitler from people like Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. And let's not get it wrong; even the latter two have a few spots on their records. No one is perfect.
- b0rsuk 6y ago
  "It's almost like saying 'This is a safe drunk driver'" Ramani's video on 'healthy narcissism', 10:28 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNo?t=46 She also has a video on "communal narcissists" - a breed of narcissists on a mission to help people that are very careful about documenting every single thing they do. Upon closer inspection, it turns out many people do good things only to be in spotlight and are mean to people close to them, including assistants who work for their success. She says whether it's worth it for the society in the end is a philosophical question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8fiHTbGtY
- dorkwood 6y ago
  I used to think that a narcissist was just a person who enjoyed being in the spotlight until I encountered one at my last job. Being terrorized by a narcissist for six months because you inadvertently made them look bad is a terrifying thing to go through. I feel like we would have heard stories about Barack Obama tormenting his subordinates by now if he was truly narcissistic.
- watwut 6y ago
  Narcissism as mental health thing is not positive. If you read the list of traits. It is not merely large ego or confidence. It is not just about decisions of what you build. It is also about outsized emotional reactions which makes narcissist and inability to see others as different individuals.
b0rsuk 6y ago
Narcissism is charisma + these behaviors: - lack of empathy - entitlement to special treatment - superficial - constantly seeking validation and admiration - manipulative, exploitative, lying Note that covert/vulnerable narcissists are mostly like that but they trade charm for a ton of passive-aggressive behaviors and snide remarks. Charisma is the favorite tool of classic, grandiose narcissists. https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87 https://youtu.be/4qbam9R6BOo?t=87

ravenstine 6y ago

I liked Ramani until I realized that every other day she posts videos where she repeats the same material she's covered countless times in the past. I became convinced that you could watch her whole YouTube channel and conclude that everyone around you is a narcissist. This isn't to say that she hasn't made lots of good and valid content, but I find it ironic that she uses her own apparent charisma to exploit a topic and turn it into a catch-all for describing any cancerous individual. I wouldn't have much objection to this in isolation, except I presume her channel is monetized, which inherently changes my perception of her intention. By contrast, Dr. Grande's channel has more varied psychological content and comes off as more neutral than Ramani. Although recently he's been doing a lot more analyses of individuals than of broader subjects. Someone who wants to understand narcissistic personality disorder should probably look up its commonly accepted definition, then watch Dr. Ramani's videos and decide which ones matter and which ones really don't. That's just my opinion.

hedberg10 6y ago
I think she just focused on narcissism for a whole month, as well as it being somewhat of a specialty of hers. It's also a pretty big Youtube niche. If you watch the Med Circle content she is pretty succinct and well versed on other mental health issues as well.
- b0rsuk 6y ago
  Yup, I saw her comparing borderline to CPTSD. She talks about avoidant personality disorder, paranoia, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive.
b0rsuk 6y ago
Dr Grande has a very good channel and it's hard to find a flaw in it. I guess it's relatively unexciting - until you hear him talk about guns. In my opinion there's a narcissism epidemic going on. Charisma is seen not just as a trait but as a value. Everyone wants some. It's lumped together with good leadership, extroversion etc. Charismatic selfish people are praised as CEOs, celebrities, youtubers, politicians, actors. And enthralled people keep making excuses for them! And calling YOU crazy. For many people it's true that narcissists are all around, and it's easy to explain! Kind, selfless, charitable people are narcissist magnets(They will keep making excuses). Also people from messed up families, who didn't develop healthy boundaries(Does fish know it's under water?). They are easy to impress and exploit. Narcissists and manipulators can sense weakness. By contrast, if you're assertive, you repel them without knowing and it may seem like the problem is overblown. Both earlier kinds of people end up being marginalized. I have another issue with Dr Ramani and why she's not a complete source on narcissim. She's great for theory and the big picture but gives few examples of things narcissists actually say and how you might counteract it.